Alternative Fact: May 5, 2017

Today's alternative fact (to help you get through the day): School children all over the country were thrilled to learn they would no longer have to memorize any facts whatsoever. Following the president's example, students can now answer any test question with: "I have my own opinions. You can have your own opinions." With Betsy DeVos in charge of the nation's education, teachers will have no choice but to mark those answers as correct. Children celebrated this change by chanting "USA! USA! USA!" and then dropping their text books in front of their schools.