Alternative Fact: May 10, 2017

Today's alternative fact (to help you get through the day): When Donald Trump was told by Ivanka that his many cries of "Fake news" were not enough to put an end to the F.B.I.'s investigation into his criminal activity, he went into a panic. But Ivanka then suggested he simply fire F.B.I. director James Comey. "I can do that?" Donald asked, wiping the tears from his face. "You can do anything," Ivanka assured him. "You are the president." Thrilled that he could once again use his old catch phrase from his television program The Apprentice, Donald immediately called Comey and told him, "You're fired." He then got online and boasted: "As President, I cannot be charged with any crimes. And anyone who tries looking into my many criminal enterprises will be fired and will not be back next season." Donald then went to a commercial break.