Alternative Fact: May 22, 2017

Today's alternative fact (to help you get through the day): While Donald Trump now asserts that the trafficking of underage girls is a bad thing, he did not always hold that viewpoint. Investigators have uncovered receipts that indicate that Ivanka is not Donald's biological daughter after all, that Donald actually purchased her from Russian friends when she was the tender age of four. "I got a great deal on her," Donald was recently heard bragging to Steve Bannon. "And I'm not giving her back." Some reporters have speculated that Donald's fear of losing his daughter/girlfriend is the real reason he continually tries to convince the press to stop reporting on the Russia connection. DNA tests that could resolve the question of Ivanka's parentage have yet to be administered or even agreed to.