Alternative Fact: May 27, 2017

Today's alternative fact (to help you get through the day): Donald Trump met with Pope Francis this week, hoping to hire the holy man to perform an exorcism on James Comey and anyone else who might offer damaging testimony. "I'll be able to pay you a lot of money," Donald assured the pope. "My new budget frees up billions of dollars that would have been wasted on the poor." The pope seemed reluctant, and no deal was finalized before the Trumps had to leave, but Donald was confident that something would be arranged soon. "I'm great at making deals," Donald bragged.