Monday, July 22, 2013

A Comforting Thought

If you're ever feeling a bit down, just remind yourself: Hey, at least Ronald Reagan is still dead.

Friday, July 19, 2013

Toenail Beats Clippers

The clippers were meant to cut my toenails, but instead one of my toenails (big toe, left foot) broke the clippers. Look, I've been told before this that my toenails are horrifying. But that's being so negative. Instead, say that they're strong, they're sturdy, they hold up under pressure, and they're ready to take on all adversaries. And even when you beat them you can't keep them down for long. My toenails have spirit.

Although now I need to buy new fucking clippers, which is really annoying.