Alternative Fact: August 8, 2017

Today's alternative fact (to help you get through the day): During a recent television interview, the lights caused Ivanka Trump's plastic face to melt. The reporter conducting the interview and the film crew were horrified to discover that underneath Ivanka's plastic exterior lurks a bruised and frightened member of an alien race. "Please don't reveal my secret," the creature said. "As bad as it is being Donald's lover, it is actually even worse in the coal mines of my home world."