Friends, not many people knew Deborah Pollack. And fewer understood her. That's because she was a raving lunatic who listened to the voices she believed spoke to her through her radio and her microwave oven, long after her electricity had been shut off due to lack of payment. But I got to know her briefly, in that short period before the medication turned her brain to total mush. She communicated with me, and then suddenly disappeared, her words disappearing with her. This post then is in memory of Deborah Pollack, a baffled and befuddled mess of hair and rags and kitty litter.
Though her words are now gone, my messages to her remain. I include them here for the record.
Thursday, April 13 2017, 10:01 p.m.: Uh-oh,
we've angered one of them. To calm Deborah Pollack down, speak in
whispers and in cliches. Say things she has heard hundreds of times,
mindless Republican chants. Then once she has closed her eyes, you can
get the muzzle on her and put her down.
Thursday, April 13, 2017, 10:10 p.m.: It's
going to be okay, Deborah Pollack. Don't worry. FOX News, lock her up,
Trump Pence, Make America Great Again.... See, folks, it's working. She
is starting to smile, starting to put away her claws.
Friday, April 14, 2017, 2:44 a.m.: Ha!
Friends, it seems that Deborah Pollack has blocked me because I can no
longer see any of her insane mumbling. I suppose that means she is
either tamed or terrified of me. I claim victory. Another creature has
been defeated. Good riddance to Deborah
Pollack, a buffoon and a complete turd. It will be a great day when all
of her like are silenced. Let us now gather in prayer, and petition the
almighty gods and goddesses to remove other such beasts from our beloved
A man named Duane Key then interjected: Michael, I believe its because you're too much of an idiot to try and have a discussion with
I patiently responded to Duane, a petulant bed-wetter and amateur sodomite: No,
Duane, she's frightened. She's hiding now. She knows she's defeated,
and can't bear to have her nonsense ridiculed any longer. It's likely
that she'll stay in hiding for a long time. Perhaps she'll never come
back. Perhaps she's huddled in a corner
with a plush bunny and a box of cookies and the remote to a television
she no longer owns. And maybe she'll scribble some thoughts on the wall
of her trailer, and when the doctors come to remove her in the coming
years, they might see that writing, and perhaps one will care enough to
attempt to decipher it. Or perhaps not. Maybe the doctors will have
other things on their minds, and the final mumbling of Deborah Pollack
will be lost forever.
Goodbye, Deborah Pollack.