Alternative Fact: April 19, 2017

Today's alternative fact (to help you get through the day): Sean Spicer assured the nation that Donald Trump's hideous, bloated corpse is still in control of the country. "While it's true that yesterday Donald and Ivanka were killed by a carload of angry clowns, absolutely nothing has changed," Spicer said at a today's press conference. After a moment, he added, "The president may spend a little less time on Twitter."