Alternative Fact: April 18, 2017

Today's alternative fact (to help you get through the day): Today my dream came true. A clown car pulled up onto the White House lawn, and fifteen angry clowns climbed out, a dozen of them carrying a long string of barbed wire, which they began wrapping around Donald and Ivanka, winding it tighter and tighter, the barbs tearing into their twisted flesh. While they did that, one of the other clowns played a lovely dirge on ukulele, while the remaining two clowns performed an elegant interpretive dance, not easy to do in those giant shoes. When the song and dance were finished, the other clowns unwound the barbed wire, and all of them got back into the car, leaving the hideous corpses of Donald and Ivanka in an eternal embrace on the lawn. A witness reports seeing a strangely satisfied smile on Donald's deceased face as the clown car drove off into the Washington, D.C. morning traffic.