Alternative Fact: April 12, 2017

Today's alternative fact (to help you get through the day): Donald Trump explained that the runways at the Syrian base were never the target, and that's why none of the 59 missiles hit them. He also confirmed that the chemical weapons stockpiles at the base were not targeted. "I targeted the real source of the trouble," Donald said. "I got it from reliable sources - Breitbart, FOX News and my snake Jasper - that the base's cafeteria was where the real trouble was. They served those awful square pizzas, where the cheese comes off in one rubbery clump. That sort of thing is sad and has to be stopped, no matter where in the world it is found, and no matter how much it costs American taxpayers."