More Fun With The NRA

If you are in the habit of using your brain, then you understand that the solution to the gun problem is not more guns. The lunatics of the NRA, however, believe that the only way to stop gun violence is for more people to own guns. Actually, the NRA does not give a shit about stopping gun violence. The NRA cares only about selling more guns. And so it spreads terror and fear, and then tells people the way to combat this fear is by purchasing weapons. What I'd like to do is toss all of these people into a giant blender and make a smoothie. But I do not have a giant blender. So I simply poke fun at these asses. You can too! They love it when you point out their group's Russian connection.

NRA: "Gun control advocates undoubtedly awoke with a piercing headache Wednesday morning as the news sunk in that the #9thCircuitCourt has recognized that the #2A PROTECTS A RIGHT TO OPENLY CARRY #FIREARMS IN PUBLIC FOR SELF DEFENSE!"
My response: "Hurrah! This is excellent news for people who want to pretend to be action movie characters. Now Russians can dress up like Rambo and not have to carry cheap toy guns."

NRA: "@NRA Endorses Representative Diane Black for Governor. "For over two decades ... @DianeBlackTN has never wavered in the fight to expand and protect the #2A rights of law-abiding citizens"
My response: "Oh yes, I think the Second Amendment should be expanded to include tanks, fighter jets and nuclear weapons. Right, comrades?"

Morgan Sachs (also posted by NRA): "Ran into a guy I went to high school with who stopped me to tell me how much he supported what I was doing for the #2A You’ll encounter a lot of haters doing this but it’s the little moments like this that make it all worth it tbh"
My response: "That's right! It's those little moments that matter so much - like when you run into someone you went to high school with, and maybe you shoot that person, and maybe you don't. But it's all about choice, and nostalgia, remembering those two years you went to high school."

NRA: "Once again, an anti-gun authority figure is caught harassing a student who supports the #2A. This time, a @PBAUniversity coach told a student athlete he had to choose between playing lacrosse and posting non-threatening hunting/firearm photos."
My response: "Wow! The choice is clear. After all, lacrosse can be dangerous. You might get hit with one of those sticks those violent children are so fond of carrying. It's much better and safer to play with guns. Besides, you have to practice for the day you bring the guns to school."

NRA: ".@NRA is set to support America’s Shooting Team during @USAShooting's National Sporting Clays Cup Fundraiser on August 30 at @TheForkFarm and @ChildressWines!"
My response: "Hurrah for the shooting team! This is such a good idea, because it's safer if you shoot people with a team of conspirators. At least one of you can stand watch for the police and warn the others when it's time to run. Right, comrades?"

NRA: "After several carjackings, a high-speed chase on a dirt bike, and the brandishing of a sawed-off shotgun, an #armedcitizen helped save the day in #Georgia. Good guys with guns help all the time, but how often do you see it reported?"
My response: "That's right: all the time, good people with guns are helping us. Like just this morning, a woman with a gun helped make the line in front of the ATM shorter for me. And a guy with a gun tried to get rid of a few of the drivers causing traffic for me. Keep winning, comrades!"

NRA: "Criminals will obey gun control laws. #NationalTellAJokeDay"
My response: "Ha! You're right, we just shouldn't have any gun control laws. Also, criminals don't obey laws against rape, so we should get rid of those laws too. Criminals don't obey laws against child abuse, so let's just make that legal too. Great idea, comrades!"

NRA: "Politicians from the largest city in the #Canadian #gun control stronghold of Quebec plan to put their weight behind a raft of severe gun restrictions next week."
My response: "Gun restrictions? That's crazy. How will children be able to get a hold of guns to kill their classmates then? I bet the NRA will put its weight behind opposing any such restrictions. Right, comrades?"
Jbarnz71: "Do you keep your car keys in a safe at home? How about your medicine? Cleaning supplies? Gasoline?..."
My response: "You bet I do! I don't want any illegal immigrants getting their hands on my cleaning supplies. Right, comrades?"
Jbarnz71: "I am a bot from mother Russia. I am here to arm Americans to make them the largest army on the plant. This is how we will defeat the USA. By making sure they have 2a rights will be much easier for invasion"
My response: "Wow, it's quite a serious plan you've got there, comrade. Well, good luck to you and that giant plant. Where is this plant where you're storing your giant army? Or is that a secret?"

NRA: "Six year old and twelve year old teaching the safety rules in STL"
My response: "Excellent! The more children with guns, the safer everyone will be. The only thing that can stop a bad child with a gun is a good child with a gun. Right, comrades?"

NRA: "For women, guns can make the difference between life and death."
My response: "I agree! Guns can mean the difference between life and death for women (as well as men). If guns didn't exist, women wouldn't get shot to death. Nor would men. I'm surprised and delighted that the NRA is admitting this."

NRA: "This one #gun-grabbing #protestor thinks THAT YOU SHOULD NOT BE ABLE TO #DEFEND YOUR LIFE if an #intruder breaks into your house. The #NRA and our 6 million members know better than this and we will never stop fighting for the #2A!"
My response: "That's crazy! Of course if someone breaks into your house, you should shoot him with a semi-automatic rifle. Even if someone just gets too close to your house. Or if you've invited him in, but he overstays his welcome. Right, comrades? The answer is always: Shoot people."

(Also, people, can everyone please stop putting the number sign in front of every fucking word? Enough of that shit already!)