Fun With Trump Supporters (Because Swatting Them Only Makes Them Angry)

I wish that everyone who voted for Donald Trump would disappear from our planet. Eventually that will happen, of course. But not soon enough. And so we have to live with these cretins. One way to deal with that is to have a little fun with them online, responding to their ridiculous posts and comments. So here we go again, more Fun With Trump Supporters...

Richrd Neal (on Facebook, 5-5-17): "Trump is killing it - He was born to be President...Don't believe me? Just look around you at all the melting snowflakes. That is all the evidence one needs to know Trump is making things happen like no President before him. Because so many pissed off melting snowflakes tell you he is shaking things up by getting things done..."
My response: "Richrd Neal, what goddamn liberal snowflake stole the 'A' from your first name? Have you reported this theft to the police? Don't let them get away with this, Richrd. Who knows what perverted things they're doing to your A right now? This is exactly the kind of thing that Donald Trump warned us about. I bet Hillary is behind this. I bet she took the A from your first name in order to use it in some other devilish word, a word you can't even imagine, a word that would terrify school children and cause dogs to bark wildly. Richrd, those liberals must be stopped before we end up with a nation of Richrds and Brins and Ryns and - god forbid - Donlds."

Brunell Donald-Kyei (on Twitter, 5-6-17): "I thought about jobs that went overseas failing schools open borders not my skin color when I voted @realDonaldTrump! I am a Proud American!"
My response: "Next you should think about punctuation. Trump supporters seem to only have access to exclamation points, not commas."

Darren Embro (on Facebook, 5-7-17): "Our soldiers are the true heros, they fight for our great nation, risk their lives, sacrifice time with friends and family, lose their friends in war, and still wake up ready to defend our great nation until the last breath. I am glad to see a president who truly appreciates the military."
My response: "Darren, you are a bit daft, my friend. Donald will publicly be in favor of whatever his people tell him his foolish supporters like. That's why he suddenly attended a church service on Easter, because his insane supporters are into that sort of thing. But keep in mind that the only thing Donald Trump is truly in favor of is Donald Trump. (By the way, you misspelled 'heroes.')"

Leslee Leger Brown (on Facebook, 5-16-17): "President Trump is doing so much for America..... while liberals choke on Fake News..... he does not let it get him off focus on fixing what is broken in America...... sure would like to hang the leaker..... Washington Post should know better..... they are guilty of jeopardizing National Security not our President!!" 
My response: " Leslee, you are a demented twit. Supporting Donald Trump is like announcing to the world that you are unable to tie your shoes, do simple math, tell the difference between a fork and spoon, find your way home from two blocks away, open a bottle of wine, park a car and so on. Supporting Donald Trump is announcing to the world that you have no integrity or soul or heart or sympathy. Supporting Donald Trump is announcing to the world that you are no longer capable of making your own decisions, and that you desperately need constant supervision."

Thomas Caputo (on Facebook, 5-16-17): "Thank god a good man like Donald Trump stepped up to save us from the same old Washington politics that have ruined this country for years. God bless this man. He waging a war on phony politicians and communists insurgents. I love this guy."
My response: "Thomas, clearly you are no longer able to take care of yourself or make rational decisions. Saying you love Trump is like saying you enjoy throwing razor blades at babies in the NICU." 

Michelle Bell (on Facebook, 5-18-17): "WE THE PEOPLE KNOW U HAVENT DONE ANYTHING WRONG. LOVE MY PRESIDENT"
My response: "Trump fans have such a tough time with English. Michelle, you are a fucking moron, and don't tell me you're not. Now, see how in that sentence I typed the word 'you' rather than just using the letter 'U.' Notice also that when I used a contraction such as 'don't' that I correctly included the apostrophe. And did you notice that at the conclusion of each sentence I included punctuation? That's how adults make sentences." 

Helen Magyari Ilonka Todorut (on Facebook, 5-18-17): "Yes we are with you and we love your work what you doing for us people"
My response: "Helen et al, I agree! I love how Donald Trump is getting rid of environmental regulations so that we can all get sick. And I love that he wants to get rid of health care, so that once we get sick we can just all suffer together. Nothing brings the people together like a whole lot of death. I also love all the great work he does down at Mar-A-Lago every week." 

Kenneth Dean (on Facebook, 5-18-17): "Keep fighting we got your back"
My response: "When will Trump supporters be given access to punctuation? Fight for that, Kenneth Dean! Fight!"

Judith Tamar (on Facebook, 5-18-17): "I am so sad that you must take this evil witch hunt. So you need much more of our prayer. Be strong and hold on. God bless you and your family!"
My response: "I agree, Judith! God bless his family, especially that ex-prostitute who used to pose nude. Oh, and also that daughter/girlfriend of his who likes to use her position to promote her clothing and jewelry lines." 

John Duncan (on Facebook, 5-21-17): "Keep up the great work for America, the patriots who can think and aren't sheep see what you are doing. Hollywood liberal's and the globalist kabal abd their media mouthpieces tout nothing but missinfirmation, you will be vindicated in the end."
My response: "What the hell is 'missinfirmation'? Also, take the apostrophe out of 'liberal's.' Fucking Trump supporters just can't handle the English language."  

Elizabeth Roberts (on Facebook, 5-21-17): "Wow a president who shares openly with the American people what he is doing.. what a concept? God placed you hear in this moment in history to lead this nation for a reason.. Nothing and no one is going to remove you out of your appointed place, or take it from you, President Trump. The evil empire we are battling may lie, scheme, profane, and distort every thing you do. But whom God has sovereignly appointed, they cannot take nor remove. Thank you for your immense hard work, your bravery, your respect for this great national and her people.. and for Godly fear which is the beginning of all wisdom. You're doing great! Very proud."
My response: "Elizabeth, you're a nut. Now take a moment to review the difference between 'hear' and 'here.' Also, let me ask you one thing: What specifically has Donald Trump done that you consider great? And yes, I will keep in mind while reading your response that you are a nut." 
Elizabeth Roberts: " Michael Doherty .. Are you really serious??.. yeah, you've been pickled by the mainstream media.. figures.. I can't abide the ignorance.. sorry.. please move on."
My response: "Elizabeth Roberts, waiting for your response. Come on, Lizzy, one thing that he did that is truly great." 
My response: "You're dodging the question, Lizzy. What specifically did Trump do that you consider great? Is there anything, or were you lying?" 
(I went to Elizabeth Roberts' Facebook page, and it turns out she is a big fan of Info Wars. Oh boy! Yes, nothing tells us you're a genius quite like quoting Alex Jones. I wonder if Elizabeth Roberts followed his custody battle, which he lost.) 
Elizabeth Roberts did not respond, so I tried once again.
My response: "Lizzy, are you still trying to come up with one great thing that Donald has done? Sweetheart, let me save you the time. He hasn't done anything great. He hasn't done anything good. So give up, and admit your original post was nonsense, you nut." 

Eric Curse (on Facebook, 5-21-17): "It's nice to have a President who shakes the hand of other leaders instead of bowing to them like Obama has."
My response: "Eric, Trump curtsied. He curtsied. You didn't see that? He bowed, and then curtsied. Clearly it's time for us to start grabbing Donald Trump by the pussy." 

David Klepinger (on Facebook, 5-21-17): "Suffice it to say that America has never had a president that has worked as hard as Donald J. Trump. God be with you, Mr. President."
My response: "David, I agree. He has worked so hard on his golf game, and I'm sure soon we will see some improvement on his swing." 

Jay Pearce (on Facebook, 5-21-17): "I love it when the president posts his agenda for the day... it is great, the everyday person now knows what the POTUS is doing.... keep up the good work chief, we are in your corner and have your back"
My response: "The 'everyday person'? As opposed to someone who is only occasionally a person?"  

Cassandra L. Dippold (on Facebook, 5-21-17): "Holy moly I hope you rested Well! You are a busy man Mr President Donald Trump! We love you and appreciate ALL you do to bring us together as one ALL countries working together and respecting us as their ALLY! God bless you. Thank you Jesus for putting this man as our leader! TEAMUSA#!"
My response: "Cassandra, wait, Jesus is responsible for Donald Trump being president? I thought it was the Russians. Or maybe a mistake made by the electoral college. It was Jesus? Let's find this guy, whoever he is, and nail him up on some wood!" 

I've been posting my daily alternative facts on Donald Trump's Facebook page, always prefacing them by saying "Today's alternative fact" to be very clear. On May 22, 2017, a woman named Esther Weyand responded: "Wow Michael you better have all your ducks in a row here because that's enough to be sued for deffimation of character! How could you say something like that??"
My response: "Esther Weyand, thank you for once again proving that Republicans have no sense of humor. And, by the way, I say stuff like that every day, and will until Donald and his regime are dragged out of the White House."
My second response: "Also, Esther, you should learn how to spell. It's 'defamation' of character, not 'deffimation.' Moron. Also, Donald is completely lacking character, so there is no chance of defamation."  

Donna Smith (on Facebook, 5-28-17): "so glad she didn't get elected now i know my daughters will be safe and all the other females and everyones elses yes even stupid libtards"
My response: "Donna Smith, your daughters will only be safe if you keep them away from pussy-grabbing Donald Trump. He likes 'em young. Very young."
Donna Smith: "Michael Doherty no justamd who knows maybe people like you pervert like bill Clinton"
My response: "Donna Smith, what the fuck were you trying to say? I can't make heads or tails of your gibberish. Please go back to school." 

Charlie Brown (on Facebook, 6-3-17): "Why is it so hard for anyone to see that this man heartfully cares about America? People!"
My response: "Charlie Brown, you're a clown. (Sorry, couldn't resist.) To answer your question, it is because Donald Trump lies with every single sentence he struggles to create. No one with any sense can believe anything he says. So if he says he cares about America, well, I don't buy it."
Charlie Brown: "Michael Doherty, you are the joke. I need say anything more."
My response: "Charlie Brown, you need say anything more? So you're going to say more? Did you mean to type 'I need not say anything more'? Or should I wait for more things that you need to say? Come on, Charlie Brown, get it together! Psychiatric Help: 5 cents. The doctor is in."  

I like to post my daily alternative facts on Donald Trump's Facebook page and on the Republican Party's Facebook page, and occasionally one of Trump's moronic followers will respond. Charlotte Miller responded early on the 10th to my post from June 9th.
Charlotte Miller (6-10-17): "Your a disgusting human pig. Your not good enough to carry President Trumps lunch bag" (And she included a cartoon pig head between her two sentences.)
My response: "Charlotte Miller, you seem to be having trouble knowing the difference between 'your' and 'you're.' Why don't you go back to school, learn a thing or two, and then come back and talk with me. Also, Donald Trump doesn't eat his lunch out of bag. He eats it out of the hollowed out skull of one of his beauty contestants." 
(A side note: I find it slightly humorous that Charlotte Miller's Facebook profile photo is of a child with the caption, "Why can't we all just get along?") 

Fun With Trump Supporters: The Game Intelligent People Can Play With Idiots

I'm shocked that Donald Trump is still occupying the White House, and I'm even more shocked that certain individuals still support him, even seem to love him. These people are what we refer to as morons and assholes. They are awful people, without redeeming characteristics, but that doesn't mean you can't play with them. Ridiculing them won't get them to change their minds about anything, but it can be fun. I haven't been playing as much as I used to, because sometimes I just get too angry and it ceases to be fun. But here is some fun I've had in the last few weeks...

Gloria Hughes (on Facebook, 4-18-17): " Freedom isn't free and never has been. Without war, we would be speaking German. I voted for President Trump, because I have no intention of speaking Arab, Korean or Russian. For those, who come from families that are too cowardly to protect that freedom we have all enjoyed, you are free to leave and go to a Country you feel has more freedom. Otherwise, keep enjoying your freedom off the backs of those, who have brave and sacrificial families, willing to die for your freedom"
My response: "Gloria Hughes, be honest: You couldn't learn Arabic, Korean or Russian."

Donald Sailers (on Facebook, 4-19-17): "can any of you people tell me what has trump ever did to you for you to disrespect him as the president of the USA when he won the office for the American people voted for by the American people,"
My response: " Donald Sailers, can you tell me where you went to school and attempted to learn English?"

Saven Mi (on Facebook, 4-20-17): "Who all is thankful to President Trump for being a man of his word, and doing exactly what he said he was gonna do?"
My response: " A man of his word? Which word, exactly? Because any statement he's made, you can find footage of him saying exactly the opposite. He's a democrat, he's a republican. He's pro-choice, he's against abortion. He thinks Hillary would make a great president, he thinks she's crooked. He loves Meryl Streep, he think she's overrated. By the way, you might recall he promised to release his tax returns. A man of his word?" 
(By the way, this woman who calls herself Saven Mi is a prostitute. The Republican Party sure has changed.) 

Stan Piznarski (on Facebook, 4-22-17): "There is no doubt President Trump will be in the White House for the next eight years"
My response: "Stan, good news! Donald Trump is already dead. We're just waiting for the Republicans to remove his hideous, bloated corpse from the White House. They want to keep it in there for eight years, just as you fear, but the smell is already causing some on the staff to become sick. If you missed the story, as reported in Alternative Facts, here is the link. Enjoy!"

Teresa Mader (on Facebook, 4-22-17):  "Thank you Trump we love you and Melania. Looks like many Americans would rather suck on baby bottles and whine all day instead of work for a living. They just dont get it that American tax payers can no longer afford the milk for their bottles."
My response: "Teresa, who is Melania? No one knows this person. Ivanka is the accepted First Lady at this point. And unless you want to raise the ire of the President, I would forget that other woman's name." 

Rob Brando (on Facebook, 4-25-17): "Build the wall!!!! Don't let the Dems stand in your way!!!!"
My response: "Rob Brando, look at all those exclamation points. You must really want that wall. The only punctuation marks that Trump supporters use are exclamation points. That's because Trump supporters are moronic children who believe that shouting is the only way they'll be heard. Isn't that right, Rob Brando, you little baby?" 

Siretha Brown (on Facebook, 4-25-17): "The polls will say anything to not give the President the praise he deserved. You are winning Mr.President know matter what the polls are consistent of."
My response: "'Know matter,' Siretha Brown? 'Know matter'? Geez, you know what the matter is with you fucking Trump supporters? You're all complete morons."

Maria Elias Lopez (on Facebook, 4-29-17): "Why does he still hold rallies, you ask? Because this is how he keeps in touch with America, without the media twisting his words."
My response: "Actually, Maria Elias Lopez, he continues holding these rallies because he is absolutely desperate for affection. He has a constant need for adoration, a constant need to hear that he's loved, that he's doing a good job. He is delusional and insecure beyond measure. He is one sick fuck. That's why he holds these rallies. That's what you're supporting. Enjoy!" 

Erin Schultz (on Facebook, 4-29-17): "You are amazing!! Thank you. We the people believe in you. Your family is smart and gorgeous. Haters are gonna hate. Class wins every time."
My response: "Erin, you're right! Class wins every time. And no one is more classy than Donald Trump. Like when he bragged about hitting on a married woman and talked about her tits. And then he bragged that because he was a celebrity he could do whatever he wanted to women, even grab them by the pussy. So classy, that Donald. It's also really classy to say you're going to do something, then not do it. Some call that lying. But, Erin, you call that class! Good for you, Erin." 

Jeffrey Wooten (on Facebook, 4-29-17): "I will never forget the day after the election!! Almost every police officer had a big smile, beamed with pride, and felt relieved that 8 years of being disrespected by Obama were over."
My response: "Wow, you went around to look at every single police officer in the country? You are a busy little boy, aren't you, Jeffrey? Yes, you are. Yes, you are." 

Cheryl Mayers (on Facebook, 4-30-17): "Loved every minute of this, President Trump NEEDS to do this otherwise the lame stream media will just twist his words around. He explained his position with China being a currency manupulator and it makes perfect sense - we need China to help keep North Korea in check."
My response: "Cheryl, I'm glad you enjoyed Donald's latest exercise in public masturbation. He'll be releasing a DVD soon in which he just repeats 'I am great' for 90 minutes. I have a feeling you'll be adding to that to your collection." 
My second response: "Oh, Cheryl, when you have finished folding your Nazi flag, you might want to go purchase a dictionary. You seem to be having a bit of trouble with your spelling, darling." 

Dick McElhaney (on Facebook, 4-30-17): "Trump was at his best last night. It's about time the country has been blessed with a president who has gone to work 24/7 to put America and its people first."
My response: "Dick - you don't mind if I call you Dick, right? Anyway, Dick, when you say he's gone to work '24/7,' what exactly do you mean? Clearly you don't mean he works 24 hours a day seven days a week. I mean, he doesn't even work 24 hours a week. So what do you mean precisely, Dick? You're still okay with me calling you Dick, right? Oh, maybe you were being sarcastic. Were you being sarcastic, Dick?" 

Brian Shy (on Facebook, 5-3-17): "I hope all sanctionary cites loose all federal funding if they don't comply . Let them stand their ground and find out the hard way"
My response: "Trump supporters continue to struggle with simple spelling and grammar. Professional moron Brian Shy writes, 'I hope all sanctionary cites loose all federal funding.' Of those nine words, three are mistakes. First, Brian, it is 'sanctuary.' Second, you meant to type 'cities,' not 'cites.' And the third error is your use of the word 'loose' when you what you meant is 'lose.' Please return to school before posting any other messages online. Thank you." 
Brian Shy: " Go to school to preach spelling and grammar if you are worried about it . This is not a class . Now back to the best president we ever had is the topic here i"
Brian Shy (responding to a comment I made to another person): "You do have rights and freedoms . You have the right to leave the country and the freedom to choose which one you want to go to"
My response: "Brian Shy, I told you to refrain from posting comments until you've gone back to school."
Then: "And Brian, your last post seems like something you read, not something you thought of yourself. My guess is you are incapable of actual thought. Perhaps it is simply because you are uneducated. I'd prefer to think of you as ignorant rather than an asshole, because I'm in the mood to be nice."
Brian Shy: "Haha Michael the liberal troll . More worried about insults and spelling than topics lol"
Brian Shy: " At least I went . I think your mom home schooled you . Did she pass you after the second grade or give up on you"
My response: "Brian Shy, there you go again. Folks, Brian Shy is typical of the Trump supporter - a complete and utter moron without an original thought, without compassion, without understanding, but with a few phrases and words he can recall from speeches and rallies, phrases and words he clings to as Truth, phrases and words he takes to bed and is comforted by."  
My last response to Brian Shy: "One last thing, Brian. I don't believe you went to school. Or, at least, I don't believe you paid any attention. The proof is in your original post, which I commented on already. But a reminder: 'Sanctionary'? Now, good night, stupid person, and may flights of angels shit on your face as you sleep."   

Fun With Trump Supporters: The Game Continues, April 17th

Those who support Donald Trump are scoundrels, cretins, and assholes. No question about it. But mostly they're just stupid beyond belief. And so the game continues. Here is a little fun I had today on Donald Trump's Facebook page.

Becky Brown  (on Facebook, 4-17-17): "Love you Mr. President. You are doing a phenomenal good job. !!!!!!!!!!!!!"
My response: "Wow, Becky, adding those exclamation points after the period really makes you seem sincere."
(Becky is so bright that she actually liked my response.) 

Laurie Ann Pappas (on Facebook, 4-17-17): "I have stopped watching every news channel except Fox. I have lost all respect for the media and their fake slanted stories. They truly are pathetic! Shame on them all"
My response: "Laurie, Fox doesn't have a news channel. Not really. Are you one of those self-loathing women that actually respects abusive bastards like Donald Trump and Bill O'Reilly? You feel deep down that you deserve to be harassed and hurt, don't you? Well, maybe you do." 

Cristine Gritz (on Facebook, 4-17-17): "I am thankful every day that you are our President! The media is a joke and the intelligent Americans know it! Keep doing what you are doing and know that millions and millions of the silent and LEGAL majority are behind you all the way! You are amazing in everything you do and these snowflakes don't matter! They prefer corruption and deceit!! Heart U President Trump!"
My response: "Cristine Gritz, if you count yourself among those millions of silent people, then please remain silent. Keep your moronic comments to yourself. (And great name, by the way. I'll probably use it in something.)" 

Catherine Robert (on Facebook, 4-17-17): "Dear Mr. President. PLEASE, Never release your taxes! It's too much fun watching the Liberals make fools of themselves about them!"
My response: "Catherine is right! I'd rather watch people get legitimately angry than learn the truth about what foreign powers have financial sway over the leader of our country. Good for you, Catherine, for speaking up for those of us who enjoy the anger of others and don't care about the truth or treason or any of those sorts of things." 

Nancy Jo (on Facebook, 4-17-17): "Those of us with brains realize exactly what the media is doing. They are so obvious!"
My response: "Nancy Jo, you are right! It is so obvious what they're doing - filming what Donald says, taking notes, reporting on his words and deeds. We know what they're up to, what with their note-taking and their recording and their questions and their search for the truth. Those bastards are standing up for democracy. How dare they do that in this great new fascist America that Donald has created. And to be so obvious about it too!" 

Jose Alvarez (on Facebook, 4-17-17): "What's a big deal with the President Taxes. We have many more problems in our country that we should be worry about. Those protesters are not protest because President Trump Tax returns.They are protested because some body are instigating them."
My response: "Jose, your grasp on the English language is commendable. What I think you're saying is that Donald Trump has created a lot more problems, problems that can't be solved by merely looking at his tax returns and discovering what foreign powers have given him money. And that really it is Donald's entire presidency that should be protested."  

Reza Farnood (on Facebook, 4-17-17): "We the people stand by you until the end. I noticed that they try to be smart mouth and disrespect you, but we do not listen. No worries in our end sir"
My response: "Reza, the end will be soon, so then you can sit down and relax. Either way, go on not listening. And when you say you have no worries in your end, are you referring to your anus? Was there some trouble during your checkup?"

Alma Holstein (on Facebook, 4-17-17): "We have your back Mr. President you are right on course we voted you in and we respect you stay true to God and our country and keep moving forward !!!!"
My response: "And avoid using commas and periods at all cost. Commas and periods are the devil's punctuation! The only punctuation marks God-fearing Republicans are allowed to use are exclamation points!"