I wish that everyone who voted for Donald Trump would disappear from our planet. Eventually that will happen, of course. But not soon enough. And so we have to live with these cretins. One way to deal with that is to have a little fun with them online, responding to their ridiculous posts and comments. So here we go again, more Fun With Trump Supporters...
Richrd Neal (on Facebook, 5-5-17): "Trump
is killing it - He was born to be President...Don't believe me? Just
look around you at all the melting snowflakes. That is all the evidence
one needs to know Trump is making things happen like no President before
him. Because so many pissed off melting snowflakes tell you he is
shaking things up by getting things done..."
My response: "Richrd
Neal, what goddamn liberal snowflake stole the 'A' from your first
name? Have you reported this theft to the police? Don't let them get
away with this, Richrd. Who knows what perverted things they're doing to
your A right now? This is exactly the kind of thing that Donald Trump
warned us about. I bet Hillary is behind this. I bet she took the A from
your first name in order to use it in some other devilish word, a word
you can't even imagine, a word that would terrify school children and
cause dogs to bark wildly. Richrd, those liberals must be stopped
before we end up with a nation of Richrds and Brins and Ryns and - god
forbid - Donlds."
Brunell Donald-Kyei (on Twitter, 5-6-17): "I thought about jobs that went overseas failing schools open borders not my skin color when I voted @realDonaldTrump! I am a Proud American!"
My response: "Next you should think about punctuation. Trump supporters seem to only have access to exclamation points, not commas."
Darren Embro (on Facebook, 5-7-17): "Our
soldiers are the true heros, they fight for our great nation, risk
their lives, sacrifice time with friends and family, lose their friends
in war, and still wake up ready to defend our great nation until the
last breath. I am glad to see a president who truly appreciates the
My response: "Darren,
you are a bit daft, my friend. Donald will publicly be in favor of
whatever his people tell him his foolish supporters like. That's why he
suddenly attended a church service on Easter, because his insane
supporters are into that sort of thing. But keep in mind that the only
thing Donald Trump is truly in favor of is Donald Trump. (By the way, you misspelled 'heroes.')"
Leslee Leger Brown (on Facebook, 5-16-17): "President
Trump is doing so much for America..... while liberals choke on Fake
News..... he does not let it get him off focus on fixing what is broken
in America...... sure would like to hang the leaker..... Washington Post
should know better..... they are guilty of jeopardizing National
Security not our President!!"
My response: " Leslee,
you are a demented twit. Supporting Donald Trump is like announcing to
the world that you are unable to tie your shoes, do simple math, tell
the difference between a fork and spoon, find your way home from two
blocks away, open a bottle of wine, park
a car and so on. Supporting Donald Trump is announcing to the world
that you have no integrity or soul or heart or sympathy. Supporting
Donald Trump is announcing to the world that you are no longer capable
of making your own decisions, and that you desperately need constant
Thomas Caputo (on Facebook, 5-16-17): "Thank
god a good man like Donald Trump stepped up to save us from the same
old Washington politics that have ruined this country for years. God
bless this man. He waging a war on phony politicians and communists
insurgents. I love this guy."
My response: "Thomas,
clearly you are no longer able to take care of yourself or make
rational decisions. Saying you love Trump is like saying you enjoy
throwing razor blades at babies in the NICU."
Michelle Bell (on Facebook, 5-18-17): "WE THE PEOPLE KNOW U HAVENT DONE ANYTHING WRONG. LOVE MY PRESIDENT"
My response: "Trump
fans have such a tough time with English. Michelle, you are a fucking
moron, and don't tell me you're not. Now, see how in that sentence I
typed the word 'you' rather than just using the letter 'U.' Notice also
that when I used a contraction such as 'don't' that I correctly included
the apostrophe. And did you notice that at the conclusion of each
sentence I included punctuation? That's how adults make sentences."
Helen Magyari Ilonka Todorut (on Facebook, 5-18-17): "Yes we are with you and we love your work what you doing for us people"
My response: "Helen
et al, I agree! I love how Donald Trump is getting rid of environmental
regulations so that we can all get sick. And I love that he wants to
get rid of health care, so that once we get sick we can just all suffer
together. Nothing brings the people together like a whole lot of death. I
also love all the great work he does down at Mar-A-Lago every week."
Kenneth Dean (on Facebook, 5-18-17): "Keep fighting we got your back"
My response: "When will Trump supporters be given access to punctuation? Fight for that, Kenneth Dean! Fight!"
Judith Tamar (on Facebook, 5-18-17): "I
am so sad that you must take this evil witch hunt. So you need much
more of our prayer. Be strong and hold on. God bless you and your
My response: "I
agree, Judith! God bless his family, especially that ex-prostitute who
used to pose nude. Oh, and also that daughter/girlfriend of his who
likes to use her position to promote her clothing and jewelry lines."
John Duncan (on Facebook, 5-21-17): "Keep
up the great work for America, the patriots who can think and aren't
sheep see what you are doing. Hollywood liberal's and the globalist
kabal abd their media mouthpieces tout nothing but missinfirmation, you
will be vindicated in the end."
My response: "What
the hell is 'missinfirmation'? Also, take the apostrophe out of 'liberal's.' Fucking Trump supporters just can't handle the English
Elizabeth Roberts (on Facebook, 5-21-17): "Wow
a president who shares openly with the American people what he is
doing.. what a concept? God placed you hear in this moment in history
to lead this nation for a reason.. Nothing and no one is going to remove
you out of your appointed place, or take it from you, President Trump. The
evil empire we are battling may lie, scheme, profane, and distort every
thing you do. But whom God has sovereignly appointed, they cannot take
nor remove. Thank you for your immense hard work, your bravery, your
respect for this great national and her people.. and for Godly fear
which is the beginning of all wisdom. You're doing great! Very proud."
My response: "Elizabeth,
you're a nut. Now take a moment to review the difference between 'hear'
and 'here.' Also, let me ask you one thing: What specifically has
Donald Trump done that you consider great? And yes, I will keep in mind
while reading your response that you are a nut."
Elizabeth Roberts: " Michael
Doherty .. Are you really serious??.. yeah, you've been pickled by the
mainstream media.. figures.. I can't abide the ignorance.. sorry..
please move on."
My response: "Elizabeth Roberts, waiting for your response. Come on, Lizzy, one thing that he did that is truly great."
My response: "You're
dodging the question, Lizzy. What specifically did Trump do that you
consider great? Is there anything, or were you lying?"
(I went to Elizabeth Roberts' Facebook page, and it turns out she is a big fan of Info Wars. Oh boy! Yes, nothing tells us you're a genius quite like quoting Alex Jones. I wonder if Elizabeth Roberts followed his custody battle, which he lost.)
Elizabeth Roberts did not respond, so I tried once again.
My response: "Lizzy,
are you still trying to come up with one great thing that Donald has
done? Sweetheart, let me save you the time. He hasn't done anything
great. He hasn't done anything good. So give up, and admit your original
post was nonsense, you nut."
Eric Curse (on Facebook, 5-21-17): "It's nice to have a President who shakes the hand of other leaders instead of bowing to them like Obama has."
My response: "Eric,
Trump curtsied. He curtsied. You didn't see that? He bowed, and then
curtsied. Clearly it's time for us to start grabbing Donald Trump by the
David Klepinger (on Facebook, 5-21-17): "Suffice
it to say that America has never had a president that has worked as
hard as Donald J. Trump. God be with you, Mr. President."
My response: "David, I agree. He has worked so hard on his golf game, and I'm sure soon we will see some improvement on his swing."
Jay Pearce (on Facebook, 5-21-17): "I
love it when the president posts his agenda for the day... it is great,
the everyday person now knows what the POTUS is doing.... keep up the
good work chief, we are in your corner and have your back"
My response: "The 'everyday person'? As opposed to someone who is only occasionally a person?"
Cassandra L. Dippold (on Facebook, 5-21-17): "Holy
moly I hope you rested Well! You are a busy man Mr President Donald
Trump! We love you and appreciate ALL you do to bring us together as
one ALL countries working together and respecting us as their ALLY! God
bless you. Thank you Jesus for putting this man as our leader!
My response: "Cassandra,
wait, Jesus is responsible for Donald Trump being president? I thought
it was the Russians. Or maybe a mistake made by the electoral college.
It was Jesus? Let's find this guy, whoever he is, and nail him up on
I've been posting my daily alternative facts on Donald Trump's Facebook page, always prefacing them by saying "Today's alternative fact" to be very clear. On May 22, 2017, a woman named Esther Weyand responded: "Wow
Michael you better have all your ducks in a row here because that's
enough to be sued for deffimation of character! How could you say
something like that??"
My response: "Esther
Weyand, thank you for once again proving that Republicans have no sense
of humor. And, by the way, I say stuff like that every day, and will
until Donald and his regime are dragged out of the White House."
My second response: "Also,
Esther, you should learn how to spell. It's 'defamation' of character,
not 'deffimation.' Moron. Also, Donald is completely lacking character,
so there is no chance of defamation."
Donna Smith (on Facebook, 5-28-17): "so
glad she didn't get elected now i know my daughters will be safe
and all the other females and everyones elses yes even stupid libtards"
My response: "Donna
Smith, your daughters will only be safe if you keep them away from
pussy-grabbing Donald Trump. He likes 'em young. Very young."
Donna Smith: "Michael Doherty no justamd who knows maybe people like you pervert like bill Clinton"
My response: "Donna Smith, what the fuck were you trying to say? I can't make heads or tails of your gibberish. Please go back to school."
Charlie Brown (on Facebook, 6-3-17): "Why is it so hard for anyone to see that this man heartfully cares about America? People!"
My response: "Charlie
Brown, you're a clown. (Sorry, couldn't resist.) To answer your
question, it is because Donald Trump lies with every single sentence he
struggles to create. No one with any sense can believe anything he says.
So if he says he cares about America, well, I don't buy it."
Charlie Brown: "Michael Doherty, you are the joke. I need say anything more."
My response: "Charlie
Brown, you need say anything more? So you're going to say more? Did you
mean to type 'I need not say anything more'? Or should I wait for more
things that you need to say? Come on, Charlie Brown, get it together!
Psychiatric Help: 5 cents. The doctor is in."
I like to post my daily alternative facts on Donald Trump's Facebook page and on the Republican Party's Facebook page, and occasionally one of Trump's moronic followers will respond. Charlotte Miller responded early on the 10th to my post from June 9th.
Charlotte Miller (6-10-17): "Your a disgusting human pig. Your not good enough to carry President Trumps lunch bag" (And she included a cartoon pig head between her two sentences.)
My response: "Charlotte
Miller, you seem to be having trouble knowing the difference between 'your' and 'you're.' Why don't you go back to school, learn a thing or
two, and then come back and talk with me. Also, Donald Trump doesn't eat
his lunch out of bag. He eats it out of the hollowed out skull of one
of his beauty contestants."
(A side note: I find it slightly humorous that Charlotte Miller's Facebook profile photo is of a child with the caption, "Why can't we all just get along?")