Alternative Fact: September 2, 2018

Today's alternative fact (to help you get through the day): Evil spirits are responsible for the poor impression that Donald Trump makes on most of humanity. "We must respect our differences while celebrating what we all have in common, and in that way we shall put an end to racism, sexism and homophobia in our glorious, yet struggling country," Donald recently told a reporter. When the reporter later played back the tape, what he heard was this: "Drain the swamp. Grab women by the pussy. Build the wall. Mexicans are rapists. Make America great again. I am the best president." It was then that he understood that dark forces were at work.