Alternative Fact: September 20, 2018

Today's alternative fact (to help you get through the day): Donald Trump praised Brett Kavanaugh again and told reporters, "We have to overturn Roe v. Wade because it unfairly protects women's rights while ignoring the rights of rapists like me and my very good choice for Supreme Court justice."

Alternative Fact: September 17 2018

Today's alternative fact (to help you get through the day): Donald Trump is not suffering from dementia. His rambling, repetitive, incoherent speech is calculated to appeal to the stupidest of all Americans, namely his supporters. And when he wanders around or out of a room, or doesn't recognize the people seated directly across from him or next to him, or forgets to sign a bill that he's there to sign, it's not due to dementia, but rather because this very stable genius is focused on other, more important matters, such as golf or sex with his daughter.

Alternative Fact: September 16, 2018

Today's alternative fact (to help you get through the day): Donald Trump saved the day in Puerto Rico last year by tossing a dozen rolls of paper towels to a small crowd. Remember, it was those very towels that soaked up all the flood waters and restored Puerto Rico's electricity. Now Donald has told citizens in North Carolina that he will just as easily clean up the troubles caused by Hurricane Florence, and so they should not worry.

Alternative Fact: September 15, 2018

Today's alternative fact (to help you get through the day): Donald Trump falls asleep every night to the sound of his girlfriend Ivanka reading the print-out of his most popular posts on Twitter.

Alternative Fact: September 14, 2018

Today's alternative fact (to help you get through the day): Not all Trump supporters are products of inbreeding. And a few of these people have actually attended high school.

Alternative Fact: September 10, 2018

Today's alternative fact (to help you get through the day): The American Psychiatric Association has clarified an earlier statement, assuring worried family members and clergymen that supporting Donald Trump is not a clear indication of a severe neurological disorder.

Alternative Fact: September 8, 2018

Today's alternative fact (to help you get through the day): Donald Trump has no trouble pronouncing words like "anonymous," and only slurs his speech for dramatic effect.

Alternative Fact: September 7, 2018

Today's alternative fact (to help you get through the day): Donald Trump holds numerous rallies because his Nazi Party members demand it, not because he's a weak, whiny, sad, little bitch who needs constant adulation to stave off despair and decay.

Trump Supporters Are Demented And Disturbed

It's incredible that The Donald Trump Fan Club Facebook page continues to exist. Do people really still support Donald Trump, after all he has said and done? It seems absolutely incredible to me. Well, today someone on that site posted a photo of Melania Trump, with this caption: "Best First Lady EVER." So I replied, "The best his money could buy." That led to the following exchange, which managed to surprise me.

Jerry Denson: "If you had some money you buy you some one better"
My response: "Jerry Denson, 'you buy you some one better'? Would you like to try that again?"
My second response: "And, no, I wouldn't purchase anyone if I had the money. That's not how I approach relationships."
Jenine Wiklanski: "Idiot response, just jealous cause you can't afford her"
My response: "Jenine Wiklanski, ha! So you assume everyone purchases women? What a strange, sad world you live in. How much do you cost, Jenine? I bet I can afford you, with plenty left over for someone on the side."

It was Jenine's comment that surprised me. Here is a woman who not only accepts that men purchase women, but looks down on those she sees as not being to afford the most expensive ones. I have had trouble wrapping my head around the fact that any woman could have cast her vote for Donald Trump, a prick who bragged about sexually assaulting women, a bastard who raped his first wife, a cretin who talks about his own daughter in sexual terms, and who spied on beauty pageant contestants in their changing rooms. But perhaps Jenine's comment goes some of the way toward explaining it. Here is a woman who not only accepts that Melania is a prostitute and that Donald Trump, the man who is supposedly the president of our country, is essentially her john, but who also thinks highly of both of them. Clearly, her world view is completely fucked up. In her mind, is the worth of everything in existence based on some monetary value? I do truly wonder the exact monetary value she has placed on her own existence. My guess is it's not very high.

Alternative Fact: September 6, 2018

Today's alternative fact (to help you get through the day): Donald Trump is able to respond to criticism with intelligence and dignity.

Alternative Fact: September 4, 2018

Today's alternative fact (to help you get through the day): The real world is disappearing at an alarming rate and is being replaced by a fabricated replica, something no one was aware of until Donald Trump bravely and wisely pointed it out to us. Before Donald came along, no one knew about the fake books, fake dossiers, fake newspapers, fake news stations, fake protestors (yes, that's right - those people aren't even real), fake recordings, fake polls, fake websites and fake facts. Will Donald and his team of specialists be able to restore reality before it's too late and we're all replaced by fake people? If Donald Trump can't, no one can.

Alternative Fact: September 2, 2018

Today's alternative fact (to help you get through the day): Evil spirits are responsible for the poor impression that Donald Trump makes on most of humanity. "We must respect our differences while celebrating what we all have in common, and in that way we shall put an end to racism, sexism and homophobia in our glorious, yet struggling country," Donald recently told a reporter. When the reporter later played back the tape, what he heard was this: "Drain the swamp. Grab women by the pussy. Build the wall. Mexicans are rapists. Make America great again. I am the best president." It was then that he understood that dark forces were at work.

Donald Trump's Funeral

I am looking forward to Donald Trump's funeral. I hope it's officiated by a group of clowns who wrap his body in AstroTurf, shove it into the clown car and then bury the car, while "Yakety Sax" is playing at a ridiculously loud volume.

Alternative Fact: September 1, 2018

Today's alternative fact (to help you get through the day): Donald Trump is not self-obsessed. When asked why he is constantly running Google searches for "Donald Trump," Donald said: "I am looking out for my millions of fans. I just want to make sure it's easy for them to find great stories about all the great things I'm doing."