Radio

The radio is being so kind to me tonight. Marty Sexton, Richard Thompson and now Greg Brown. Ah, 88.5, you're the best.

This weekend has been filled with good music. The Brian Kinler Band did an amazing show at Vitello's friday night. And then saturday The Evangenitals did a really cool set at an art gallery. A real sweet version of "Que Queg" was one of the highlights.

My Mom

My mom still says she's putting on her face when she means she's applying makeup, and she's putting her eyes in when she's putting in her contact lenses. Yes, she sure has some strange ideas about law enforcement.

Anita & The Yanks

St. Patrick's Day is one of the two holidays that i love (the other of course being Halloween). Tonight was great. I got turned on to a new band: Anita & The Yanks. They're wonderful. After their first set i went up to Anita and told her that their version of "Fairytale In New York" was the best i'd ever heard. (And who expected to hear that song on St. Patty's Day?) And i asked her to play "Seven Drunken Nights." She asked me to sing a bit of it to her to remind her of it, so i did. And she said it's a great song, but that they don't know it. But then guess what? Toward the end of the second set, she said they'd play it, and the owner of the pub got up to sing lead on it. It was great. Sure, it was only six nights. And sure, we had to prompt him on certain nights (a pipe, a head). But it was wonderful. And then they ended their second set with a great "Fields Of Athenry" with a bit of Yes thrown in for good measure. (Oh, and earlier they had actually done a kick-ass version of "Baba O'Reilly." Seriously.) Great band. I can't wait to see them again. Happy St. Patrick's Day, everyone.

Car Corpse And Cops

Whenever i'm walking home late at night every car i pass seems to have someone seated in the passenger's seat. I always think it's a corpse, left there carelessly by a hurried relative.

Also, i cross streets whenever it's safe to do so because i'm from Massachusetts. Here people actually wait for the light that tells them to cross. I can never get used to that. I hope i'm never stopped by a cop for something so tame. But i remember the advice my mom gave me years ago. Whenever a cop bothers you, just rub yourself against a nearby bush because cops hunt by sense of smell. My mom has a lot of interesting ideas about law enforcement.

I Accept CDs and DVDs, But Will Have To Check My Address Before You Send Them

If anyone has a CD or movie he or she would like me to review, send me an email. I'm always happy to get turned onto new music or films.

I feel like pointing out at this time that i am not certain of anything. Not even my own address, though i've lived in this apartment for something like ten years. I needed to send my address to someone in order to receive some CDs, and i felt a need to check it first. I had a letter that was recently sent to me, and i looked at the address on it. I figured, well, this letter reached me so the address must be correct. Is this normal?

I also have this issue whenever i send stuff to my parents. And that's an address that was mine for the first eighteen years of my life. Why am i uncertain of it? The thing is, i never get it wrong. It's just that it never looks right.

Still, i am able to state my opinions on the merits of any album or film. So there's that.

Reviewing Good CDs and Bad Films

I was finally able to publish my article after cutting out another 164 words. Ouch. Oh well, it had to be 1,000 words, no more.

Now i'm listening to a Grateful Dead CD and writing a review of it. It would be great if i could actually make some sort of living by listening to great CDs and watching bad movies and writing about them all. It's odd, but i don't really enjoy writing about bad CDs or good movies. Though i have of course written some articles about good movies (such as The Royal Tenenbaums and The Hotel New Hampshire). But it's so much more fun to write about such nonsense as The Creeping Terror and D-War and Horror House On Highway 5.

I don't know if anyone is reading these posts, but if there are any requests, let me know. That is, if there are any bad movies you'd like me to review, i'm totally into that. Of course, i do need to start making money at this before i can start buying DVDs of bad movies, so maybe you should hold off on this. It's just an idea anyway.

I wish i could also review fur coats somehow. How can i get paid to try on furs? If anyone knows, pass on that information please. Thanks.

Suite 101 Won't Let Me Publish My Article

I'm trying to publish a review of the terrible film The Creeping Terror. I keep getting a message from Suite 101, saying my article is too long. This happened once before, with my review of Blood Angels. In that case, i just cut a few lines, and even though it was still longer than the recommended length, the article was published. This time it just keeps telling me the same thing: "Your article is very long - 1164 words. Please edit to focus it around a specific search phrase or consider breaking the article into 2 or more interlinked stand alone articles. The recommended length per article is 400 - 800 words."

The key word there is "recommended." It's recommended, not required. So fucking hell, publish the damn thing. I've already cut more than i wanted to.

Review Of "Cop Out"

Why? Why? Why? Why? Kevin Smith, seriously, why? Why? Why? Why? Bruce Willis, why? Why? What happened? Dear god, why? Kevin Smith, are you okay? Do you need some money? I don't have much, but you're welcome to crash on my couch. Oh, why why why why why why why why why?

Tim Burton's "Alice In Wonderland" Is Actually Boring

Well, today i saw Tim Burton's "Alice In Wonderland." It's pretty disappointing. He took Alice and made her like twenty years old, so right away the sense of wonder that a child would have is gone. Also, in this story, she's been having a nightmare about Wonderland since she was a child - the same dream over and over. So when she gets to Wonderland, it's familiar to her. That too takes away from the sense of adventure and excitement. Also, she assumes it's a dream, so she's not afraid. She doesn't feel that she's in any danger, and so we don't fear for her either. Basically, nothing that happens there matters to her, and so none of it matters to us.

In an early scene, when she was a child, her father had told her that she can pinch herself to wake herself up. But when she tries that and it fails to work, she doesn't panic. Wouldn't that at least freak her out? Wouldn't she start to be scared? No, because she's still convinced that she's dreaming.

It's a shame, but this version of "Alice In Wonderland" is boring.

It does look cool, but there is almost too much to look at. Instead of Tim Burton picking a few things to make interesting, a few things for us to look at, a few things to dazzle Alice, he basically fills the screen with stuff. And so because there is so much, it all blends together, and nothing sticks out at all. It's like a cool painting that you want to look at for a few minutes and then move on. (Also, i saw it in 3D, so it was like a painting that jumped out at me, and when i was done with it, kept on jumping out.)

However, Helena Bonham Carter is really good as the Red Queen. She is totally enjoyable. And Johnny Depp is good as the Mad Hatter. And actually Mia Wasikowska is fine as Alice. None of the actors are to blame for this film not working. No, it's Tim Burton's fault. Tim Burton has made one excellent film, "Ed Wood." And he's made a few good films, such as "Edward Scissorhands." But this one, sadly, falls flat. How can someone make "Alice In Wonderland" boring? Well, take out the sense of wonder. And that's what Tim Burton did.