Alternative Fact: July 29, 2017

Today's alternative fact (to help you get through the day): After feeling personally betrayed by the Senate, Donald Trump locked himself in a White House bathroom, communicating with his cohorts only via text messages. After a few hours, the new, slightly less feminine Sean Spicer told reporters: "The Senate will no longer be of any concern to us. I've just received word that Donald Trump has dissolved the council permanently. The last remnants of the Old Republic have been swept away."