Tuesday, June 24, 2014


I've been having trouble sleeping lately, but this morning I woke only once - not bad - until there was a banging at my door at 10 a.m. I waited a moment, to see if it would stop. It didn't. Then I remembered that UPS might be delivering something today. So I put on a pair of shorts and opened the door.

Two attractive women were there, so I knew it was trouble. "Hi," the younger and cuter of the two said, "we'd like to share with you the newest issue of -" And I saw the little Jesus pamphlet in her hand, and recognized that large, twisted smile as that of a demented slave of the Lord. And I quickly said, "No, thanks," and shut the door.

Goddamnit! It was ten in the morning. Don't these monsters know that decent folks are asleep at that hour? If I'm going to be woken by someone at the door, I want it to be the mailman bringing me some intriguing package, not two nuts peddling their wacky notions. I wish I hadn't bothered to put on shorts.

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