Photo From Work

Today I was in Chatsworth, working at two mansions. Here is a photo from the back yard of the first, complete with a fake duck.

Trump Supporters Are Idiots

With all that is going on, I am trying to keep a sense of humor, and generally try not to get sucked into these sorts of exchanges on Twitter or elsewhere. But check this out. I had posted this on Jackie Evancho’s Twitter page: “Just curious: are you regretting your choice to perform for Donald Trump yet?”

And someone calling himself Novice Skier responded. Here is our exchange:

• Novice Skier: Why should she regret her choice? Her concerts are selling out.
• Me: Because of the horrible things that Donald Trump is doing, tearing our nation apart.
• Novice Skier: Obama tore a nation apart. Explain how Trump is doing so?
• Me: There isn't enough space to even begin to explain it in a Twitter message.
• Me: Novice, seriously, are you joking? Are you not paying attention? Trump is a narcissistic menace.
• Novice Skier: Delusional hysteria and election smear are not facts fella.
• Me: Are they alternative facts, moron?
• Novice Skier: The space that missing is between ur ears.
• Me: "ur"? Geez, you are a moron.Well, that explains it. Only the very stupid can continue supporting him
• Novice Skier: Here do ur home work!
• Me: "ur" again? "ur"? I only respond to people who understand language.
• Novice Skier: You trying to bully me punk?
• Me: Put a comma after the word "me."
• Novice Skier: Grammer on Twitter, the bullies universal white flag...ROFL.
• Me: If you knew language, you would have typed: "Grammar on Twitter: the bully's universal white flag." 
• Novice Skier:  OMG he keeps doing it! Glad to see you graduated to someone ur own size....ROFL.
• Me:  Are you a child? What does ROFL stand for? Anyway, I've grown tired of you.
• Novice Skier:  Peace bro! You have defiantly brightened my day.
• Me:  Defiantly? Did you mean "definitely"? I actually like "defiantly."

Photos From Work

I love working in San Pedro. It took me 35 minutes to get there in the morning, 112 minutes to get home in the evening. Here are a couple of shots from the morning yesterday.

sunrise

Dinosaur guards the craft service truck

Photos From Work

We had two locations today. These photos are from the first location, which was City Hall.

This first photo was taken quite early in the day. Traffic was still backed up on the highway, which you can see in the distance.

Helicopters kept landing and then immediately taking off, without any passengers getting on or off. Someone later suggested they were possibly training.

Photo From Work

There are monsters everywhere. This one works as a detective and is also the head of the makeup department. Though, yes, on her days off she enjoys frightening small children and devouring wandering villagers.

The End Of Democracy?

Well, it doesn't look like anything is going to save us now from a Donald Trump presidency. How did we get here? It's still completely unbelievable to me. Donald Trump is a despicable individual, without any redeeming qualities. He's a liar, a swindler, a racist, an abusive bastard who wants to have sex with his daughter. I've been in a foul mood since the election, and it's exhausting. Because I've been so depressed and angry, and because I have no outlet for my anger, I just can't keep myself from sending him messages on Twitter and Facebook. Here are some of the messages I've sent him.

• Are you kidding? How can racist, abusive, juvenile man accused of rape and shady business dealings hope to be president?  (on Twitter, 10-19-16, at 4:59 p.m.)
• You're completely nuts, aren't you?  (on Twitter, 10-20-16)
• If you win, will you legalize sexual harassment and assault?  (on Twitter, 10-20-16, at 10:56 p.m.)
• I hope all rich men and celebrities grab Melania Trump by the pussy. Donald says it's okay.  (on Twitter, 11-9-16, at 8:17 a.m.)
• You are an unstable sociopath who has absolutely no business being in office.  (on Twitter, 11-13-16)
• You are a narcissist without any admirable traits. What is it you love so much about yourself?  (on Twitter, 11-13-16)
• Pence is a shithead, and what the actor said was actually quite restrained. It wasn't harassment (which you know about).  (on Twitter, 11-19-16, in response to this post by Donald: "Our wonderful future V.P. Mike Pence was harassed last night at the theater by the cast of Hamilton, cameras blazing.This should not happen!")
• It would be interesting if Twitter had existed in Germany in 1933. (on Twitter, 11-20-16, at 10:02 a.m.)
• So IBM wants to work with Trump. No surprise. IBM also worked with Hitler. Great company, IBM, with a delightful history.  (on Twitter, 11-24-16, at 12:39 p.m.)
• Awww, poor Donald. Sometimes things don't go your way, and then you pout. You're a little child, aren't you? Aww.  (on Twitter, 11-26-16, in response to this post by Donald: "I cancelled today's meeting with the failing @nytimes when the terms and conditions of the meeting were changed at the last moment. Not nice")
• You are such a fucking hypocrite. You yourself said the election was rigged, and that you wouldn't accept the results.  (on Twitter, 11-27-16)
• You are a fucking hypocrite. You're the one who said the election was rigged, and that you wouldn't accept the outcome.  (on Twitter, 11-27-16)
• You are completely without integrity, and possess not a single quality necessary to lead the country. Please drop dead.  (on Twitter, 11-27-16)
• You are a total fucking hypocrite, and have no business being president. Do the right thing: suicide.  (on Twitter, 11-27-16)
• You are a fucking idiot.  (on Twitter, 11-30-16, in response to this post by Donald: "Nobody should be allowed to burn the American flag - if they do, there must be consequences - perhaps loss of citizenship or year in jail!")
• You are so special. Really. You are. Special.  (on Twitter, 12-2-16, in response to this post by Donald: "The President of Taiwan CALLED ME today to wish me congratulations on winning the Presidency. Thank you!")
• Everything you do is a scam, Donald. How is your fake university doing, you fucking scum?  (on Twitter, 12-4-16, in response to this post by Donald: "The Green Party just dropped its recount suit in Pennsylvania and is losing votes in Wisconsin recount. Just a Stein scam to raise money!")
• You are a sick joke that has gone way too far. Please crawl back into a hole and disappear before you do more damage.  (on Twitter, 12-4-16, at 11:10 p.m.)
• The press isn't going far enough in covering all your crimes and all your terrifying statements. They've been soft on you.  (on Twitter, 12-5-16, in response to this post by Donald: "If the press would cover me accurately & honorably, I would have far less reason to 'tweet.' Sadly, I don't know if that will ever happen!")
• Donald, you sick twisted turd, are you fucking serious about Scott Pruitt to head the EPA? Please drop dead.  (on Twitter, 12-8-16, at 10:14 a.m.)
• Finest people? Really? The guy that used 9/11 to campaign for scum Bill Simon during CA recall election?  (on Twitter, 12-10-16, in response to this post by Donald: "@RudyGuiliani, one of the finest people I know and a former GREAT Mayor of N.Y.C., just took himself out of consideration for 'State'.")
• Wait: "NOTHING to do with" it except that you "have a big stake in it." Hmmm. You really are a nitwit, aren't you?  (on Twitter, 12-10-16, in response to this post by Donald: "I have NOTHING to do with The Apprentice except for fact that I conceived it with Mark B & have a big stake in it. Will devote ZERO TIME!")
• Quit your whining, you self-righteous piece of shit.  (on Twitter, 12-11-16)
• I will be serving none of that. I'd rather drink my urine, you shitheads.  (on Twitter, 12-11-16, in response to this post by Trump Organization: "There are 12 wines in the @TrumpWinery portfolio: 4 Sparkling, 3 White, 3 Red, 1 Rose & 1 Aperitif. Which will you be serving this holiday?")
• Are you joking? Has this entire thing been a joke? It's like the nation has gone completely sideways.  (on Twitter, 12-11-16, in response to this post by Donald: "Whether I choose him or not for "State"- Rex Tillerson, the Chairman & CEO of ExxonMobil, is a world class player and dealmaker. Stay tuned!")
• When are you going to reveal that this entire thing has been one elaborate joke, a publicity stunt?  (on Twitter, 12-11-16, at 11:57 p.m.)
• I'm sure your choice will be just as horrible as every other choice you've made, you fucking lunatic.  (on Twitter, 12-12-16, in response to this post by Donald: "I will be making my announcement on the next Secretary of State tomorrow morning.")
• You just can't get enough of yourself, can you? Just remember, you lost the popular vote by an extraordinary amount.  (on Twitter, 12-12-16, in response to this post from Donald: "#ThankYouTour2016 Tue: West Allis, WI. Thur: Hershey, PA. Fri: Orlando, FL. Sat: Mobile, AL. Tickets") 
• How about just announcing that this entire thing was a bad joke, and that you're leaving planet Earth for points unknown?  (on Twitter, 12-12-16, at 11:46 p.m.)
• You are an utter menace and a total buffoon. Please leave the Earth now.  (on Twitter, 12-13-16, in reply to this post from Donald: "I have chosen one of the truly great business leaders of the world, Rex Tillerson, Chairman and CEO of ExxonMobil, to be Secretary of State.")
• When precisely was America great before? I need you to tell me a date.  (on Twitter, 12-15-16, in response to this post by Donald: "Thank you Pennsylvania! Together, we are going to MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!")
• Please leave Planet Earth immediately. Stop talking. Stop everything. Just stop. Fucking stop.  (on Twitter, 12-15-16, at 11:11 p.m.)
• There will be plenty of swearing on January 20th, by all of the horrified Americans who can't believe this disaster.  (on Twitter, 12-16-16, in response to this post by Donald: "Well, we all did it, together! I hope the 'MOVEMENT' fans will go to D.C. on Jan 20th for the swearing in. Let's set the all time record!")
• Quit quoting Putin, you fucking lunatic.  (on Twitter, 12-24-16, in response to this post by Donald: "Vladimir Putin said today about Hillary and Dems: 'In my opinion, it is humiliating. One must be able to lose with dignity.' So true!")
• "Tixs"? You are a fucking moron.  (on Twitter, 12-24-16, in response to this post by Donald: "The so-called "A" list celebrities are all wanting tixs to the inauguration, but look what they did for Hillary, NOTHING. I want the PEOPLE!")
• You are insane. Please leave Planet Earth immediately.  (on Twitter, 12-24-16)
• How are you enjoying that giant portrait of yourself, you mendacious prick?  (on Twitter, 12-27-16, in response to this post from Donald: "The DJT Foundation, unlike most foundations, never paid fees, rent, salaries or any expenses. 100% of money goes to wonderful charities!")
• When precisely was America great before? I've asked you this, and you've never responded.  (on Twitter, 12-27-16)
• And many of us will never ever purchase her CDs because of this. A voice like hers shouldn't celebrate a racist shithead.  (on Twitter, 1-4-17, in response to this post from Donald: "Jackie Evancho's album sales have skyrocketed after announcing her Inauguration performance.Some people just don't understand the 'Movement'")
• Donald, I know you're interested in anything having to do with 14-year-olds, you sick twisted lump masquerading as human.  (on Twitter, 1-4-17, in response to this post from Donald: "Julian Assange said 'a 14 year old could have hacked Podesta' - why was DNC so careless? Also said Russians did not give him the info!")
• Why do you exist? Seriously, what purpose do you serve? Please stop existing right now. Thank you. (on Twitter, 1-4-17, at 2:32 p.m.)
• No one on this planet is sane enough to own a gun.  (on Twitter, 1-8-17, in response to this message from Donald: "Monitoring the terrible situation in Florida. Just spoke to Governor Scott. Thoughts and prayers for all. Stay safe!")
• Donald Trump, please shut up and leave Planet Earth immediately. You are an insane menace to all that is good.  (on Twitter, 1-8-17, at 11:08 a.m.)
• Don't worry, I doubt intelligence will have any part in any of your decisions.  (on Twitter, 1-8-17, in response to this post from Donald: "We certainly don’t want intelligence interfering with politics and we don’t want politics interfe…")
• Will you fuck off already, Donald? You are a horrid, annoying little shit.  (on Twitter, 1-9-17, at 1:13 a.m.)
• Yes, you did mock a disabled reporter, you horrible piece of animal waste.  (on Twitter, 1-9-17, in response to this post from Donald: "Hillary flunky who lost big. For the 100th time, I never 'mocked' a disabled reporter (would never do that) but simply showed him.......")
• Over-rated? Donald, you continue to be a complete dipshit.  (on Twitter, 1-9-17, in response to this post from Donald: "Meryl Streep, one of the most over-rated actresses in Hollywood, doesn't know me but attacked last night at the Golden Globes. She is a.....")
• Everything you do, everything you say makes you look bad. That's because you are bad. A bad leader, a bad human.  (on Twitter, 1-9-17, in response to this post from Donald: "'groveling' when he totally changed a 16 year old story that he had written in order to make me look bad. Just more very dishonest media!")
• Every time you open your mouth, I want to shove a giant rock into it. Please leave Planet Earth immediately.  (on Twitter, 1-9-17, at 12:10 p.m.)
• You mock the handicapped and brag about assaulting woman. How can you think you're fit to lead anyone? Please fuck off.  (on Twitter, 1-9-17, at 12:42 p.m.)
• Just out of curiosity, have you ever told the truth about anything?  (on Twitter, 1-9-17, at 1:42 p.m.) 

• You are a mendacious prick. I want to fill your mouth with rocks.  (on Twitter, 1-9-17)
• Interesting question. There are definite similarities between you and Hitler. I'm surprised you noticed.  (on Twitter, 1-12-17, in response to this message from Donald: "Intelligence agencies should never have allowed this fake news to 'leak' into the public. One last shot at me.Are we living in Nazi Germany?")

• As President Elect, you're promoting a product? Is there any line you won't cross, you shithead?  (on Twitter, 1-13-17, in response to this message from Donald: "Thank you to Linda Bean of L.L.Bean for your great support and courage. People will support you even more now. Buy L.L.Bean.")
• Donald, please leave Planet Earth immediately. You are not needed or wanted here.  (on Twitter, 1-13-17 at 1:48 a.m.)
• Oh, we get what's going on all right. That's why we're terrified, depressed and angry. Please leave Planet Earth, Donald. (on Twitter, 1-13-17, in response to this post from Donald: "We had a great News Conference at Trump Tower today. A couple of FAKE NEWS organizations were there but the people truly get what's going on")
• Will I have health care? And when are you going to release your tax information, your lying pile of feces?  (on Twitter, 1-13-17) 
• Oh god, just one week for the universe to rid the world of this menace and save us all from a horrible disaster.  (on Facebook, 1-13-17, in response to this post from Donald: "7 DAYS!")
• Do you understand how despised you are? Why don't you just quit this and go back your television shows and whatever?  (on Twitter, 1-14-17)
• You need help, that's true. Have you been to a therapist?  (on Twitter, 1-14-17, in response to this post by Donald: "Congressman John Lewis should finally focus on the burning and crime infested inner-cities of the U.S. I can use all the help I can get!") 
• I'd prefer if America were safe from the likes of you, Donald.  (on Facebook, 1-14-17, in response to this post by Donald: "Good morning America! Thank you for all of your support. Both my family and I are grateful. In just six days -- together, we will all MAKE AMERICA SAFE AND GREAT AGAIN!")
• If it ends with you being burned at the stake, I'm all for it.  (on Facebook, 1-14-17, in response to this post by Donald: "FAKE NEWS - A TOTAL POLITICAL WITCH HUNT!") 
• Yeah, I heard you lost another performer, you insane rapist.  (on Twitter, 1-14-17, in response to this post by Donald: "Inauguration Day is turning out to be even bigger than expected. January 20th, Washington D.C. Have fun!")
• My anger comes from the idea that a racist swindler without any shred of humanity could pretend to lead this country.  (on Twitter, 1-15-17, in response to this post from Donald: "The Democrats are most angry that so many Obama Democrats voted for me. With all of the jobs I am bringing back to our Nation, that number..")
• Only five days for the universe to eliminate this menace to humanity. This is a terrifying countdown brought to us by an evil, egotistical monster who cares only about himself.  (on Facebook, 1-15-17, in response to this post by Donald: "5 DAYS!") 
• Are you going to be a television critic or the president? Make up your mind, you hideous waste of skin and water.  (on Twitter, 1-15-17, in response to this post by Donald: "@NBCNews is bad but Saturday Night Live is the worst of NBC. Not funny, cast is terrible, always a complete hit job. Really bad television!")
• Yes, now it will be divided, angry, untrusting, depressed and terrified. Good job, asshole!  (on Facebook, 1-15-17, in response to this post by Donald: "For many years our country has been divided, angry and untrusting. Many say it will never change, the hatred is too deep. IT WILL CHANGE!!!!") 
• Look, we all know you want to have sex with your daughter. What we don't know is whether you have.  (on Twitter, 1-16-17, in response to this post from Donald: "Ivanka Trump is great, a woman with real character and class.")
• Of course, you wouldn't have let him rent an apartment in one of your buildings. But yes, let's celebrate him.  (on Twitter, 1-16-17, in response to this post from Donald: "Celebrate Martin Luther King Day and all of the many wonderful things that he stood for. Honor him for being the great man that he was!") 
• Donald, most of those people are there to protest your inauguration, not to support you, you insane narcissist.  (on Twitter, 1-17-17, in response to this post from Donald: "People are pouring into Washington in record numbers. Bikers for Trump are on their way. It will be a great Thursday, Friday and Saturday!")
•  I imagine the inside of your head is just hundreds of 10-year-old voices saying, "We love you, we love you, we love you."  (on Twitter, 1-17-17, in response to this post from Donald: "The same people who did the phony election polls, and were so wrong, are now doing approval rating polls. They are rigged just like before.")
• The terrifying countdown to disaster continues.  (on Facebook, 1-17-17, in response to this post by Donald: "3 DAYS!") 
• Getting in the mood for the inauguration. I just watched "Dr. Strangelove, Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb."  (on Facebook, 1-18-17, at 2:05 a.m., in response to this post from Donald: "Just landed in Washington, D.C.")
• It looks like you're trying to remember how to spell "pussy."  (on Facebook, 1-18-17, in response to this post from Donald: "Writing my inaugural address at the Winter White House, Mar-a-Lago, three weeks ago. Looking forward to Friday." There is a photo of Donald seated at a desk, pen in hand, but his eyes slightly above the paper.) 
• The countdown to doom continues. The countdown to the time when hoodlums take over, to the time when America's worst qualities are given the spotlight and the microphone. The countdown to when the scum rises to the surface, rejoicing in its perception that it is now the norm. The countdown to the annihilation of all that is decent about the country.  (on Facebook, 1-18-17, at 2:50 p.m., in response to this post from Donald: "19 MONTHS ..... NOW 2 DAYS! LETS MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!") 
• So much for freedom of the press, eh? The similarities between you and Adolf Hitler are striking. (on Twitter, 1-18-17, at 4:54 p.m.)
• You are so fucking full of yourself, aren't you? I want to fill your mouth with rocks and push you into a pool.  (on Twitter, 1-18-17, at 9:48 p.m., in response to this post by Donald: "to the U.S., but had nothing to do with TRUMP, is more FAKE NEWS. Ask top CEO's of those companies for real facts. Came back because of me!")

And, just for fun, here are some other related posts (though none of these were sent to Donald Trump directly, at least not by me):

• I have been deliberately avoiding all the political nonsense going on, and certainly am not someone to post political views on these silly social media sites, but I sincerely hope that none of my friends are going to vote for a power-hungry, juvenile, mendacious, daft prick who wants to fuck his own daughter and thinks of ten-year-olds as potential future dates. And if any of you are going to vote for him, please don't tell me, please don't post anything about it, because I won't be able to respect you or think of you as even remotely stable anymore. Amen.  (on Facebook, 10-12-16) 
• I'm getting excited about the election by watching the "Monty Python's Flying Circus" episode with all the election coverage. Are you voting for the Sensible Party candidate or the Silly Party candidate?  (on Facebook, 10-23-16) 
• Get out there and vote today. Unless you're planning to vote for Donald Trump, in which case please stay home, you insane racist Nazi morons. Amen.  (on Facebook, 11-8-16) 
• What is going on, America? Are you joking? Please tell me you're joking.  (on Facebook, 11-8-16) 
• Started drinking while at work. Continuing now. Won't stop for four years. See you then, America, you bunch of fucking morons. I think it's time we called an end to this little experiment, see if England will take us back.  (on Facebook, 11-8-16) 
• I feel like America just became a reality TV show, and that it will soon be canceled.  (on Facebook, 11-9-16) 
• I am going to be completely fucking useless at work tomorrow. I can't sleep. I can't stop drinking. I am too angry. I am too depressed. Hey, if any of you voted for Trump, please stop by my place because I am in the mood to punch something repeatedly.  (on Facebook, 11-9-16) 
• To all the great bands and singer/songwriters in this country, please cancel all your gigs in the red states for the next four years. They don't deserve you. They need to be punished. I'm not kidding.  (on Facebook, 11-9-16) 
• Trump supporters look like normal people. But if you put on the special sunglasses, you'll see they're actually hideous creatures. Or, if you've misplaced your special sunglasses, just listen to them, and you'll come to the same conclusion.  (on Facebook, 11-18-16) 
• Geez, the more people Trump appoints, the more extensive the job is going to be for one busy assassin.  (on Facebook, 11-19-16) 
• Is it wrong that I hope Donald Trump and Mike Pence are killed before January? They don't necessarily need to be murdered. Their deaths could happen in accidents. It doesn't matter, as long as they are removed from the Earth in the next two months. Amen.  (on Facebook, 11-20-16) 
• This whole Donald Trump thing is just a sick, cruel joke that went way too far. He never intended to win the party nomination, and when he did win it, that was the time to back off and say, "Hold on, I was just having a laugh, getting some publicity." But instead, he started believing his own nonsense. And shockingly, a lot of people believed it too. I still can't believe he won (sort of), and I keep hoping someone will put a stop to this before he can be sworn in. Someone out there must be able to stop this train. We need a hero.  (on Facebook, 12-4-16) 
• I'm not urging anyone to do this, but I can't help but think that if everyone who voted against Donald Trump contributed just one dollar, we could hire the best marksman the world has to offer, and have him or her take both Trump and Pence out. Is there a Kickstarter campaign going or what? Again, to be clear, I am not advocating the murder of Trump and Pence (just fervently hoping for it).  (on Facebook, 12-4-16) 
• Dear God, I will believe in you if you just get rid of Trump and Pence before January. Amen. (Oh, and also leaf blowers. I hate those.)  (on Facebook, 12-9-16) 
• Letting Trump become President is like the teacher leaving the class bully in charge while she steps out of the room for a drink.  (on Facebook, 12-9-16) 
• Despite what Donald had his supporters chant during the election, Trump is the one who needs to be locked up. In a cage. And that cage needs to be dumped into the deepest part of the ocean. Sorry, fish.  (on Facebook, 12-10-16) 
• I am glad that Donald Trump has pissed off the CIA. They are the first group that is actually likely to take him out.  (on Facebook, 12-10-16) 
• Whenever Donald Trump, Pence or any of those fuckers speak on TV, can we please get the MST3K gang to comment at the bottom of the screen?  (on Twitter, 12-11-16, at 10:49 p.m.) 
• To any musician considering performing for Trump, I will not ever purchase your CDs, concert tickets, or review your music on my blog.  (on Twitter, 12-14-16, at 12:37 a.m.)
• Something horrible is in the air, and it's affecting all of us to varying degrees. I've given it considerable thought, and the only solution is for Donald Trump and Mike Pence to leave Planet Earth for points unknown. Please, folks, help book their passage to Elsewhere. We'll give them a big send-off, a grand goodbye, befitting heroes and kings, a celebration for the ages. What better way to dispel this dark cloud, this sense of defeat, this fear? In fact, what other way?  (on Facebook, 12-14-16) 
• Come on, Electoral College, do the right thing and spare the world the horror and embarrassment of Donald Trump as President of the U.S.  (on Twitter, 12-19-16, at 9:16 a.m.)
• A new poll shows that the most requested Christmas gift this year is Donald Trump's head on a spike. Where the electoral college failed, perhaps Santa Claus can succeed.  (on Facebook, 12-24-16 at 8:06 a.m.) 
• Still not sure what to get your loved one for Christmas? How about Donald Trump's head on spike?  (on Twitter, 12-24-16, at 1:07 p.m.) 
• Are you fucking kidding me, Universe? You have two perfect targets: Donald Trump and Mike Pence. Kill them and leave the musicians alone.  (on Twitter, 12-25-16) 
• Please, please, please, please kill Donald Trump. Come on, 2016, just get one thing right. Just one. Because you've been a total shit so far  (on Twitter, 12-28-16) 
• I am terrified of this nation being controlled by Donald Trump. Please, 2016, get one thing right and kill that evil bastard.  (on Twitter, 12-30-16, at 8:45 a.m.) 
• Things are bad. But things are going to get much worse on January 20th. That is unless someone can stop Donald Trump from taking office.  (on Twitter, 12-30-16, at 8:49 a.m.) 
• Every day I just want to tell Donald Trump to go fuck himself. I can't imagine a worse human for the job of president of the United States.  (on Twitter, 1-9-17, at 1:25 a.m.)
• Universe, you still have enough time to rid us of Donald Trump before the inauguration. Put down your magazine, roll up your sleeves and get to work.  (on Facebook, 1-9-17, at 1:27 a.m.) 
• I love Meryl Streep for saying what she said. I would love her even more if she hired an assassin to rid the world of Donald Trump. Then I could even forgive her for the atrocious "Mamma Mia."  (on Facebook, 1-9-17 at 12:50 p.m.) 
• Come on, Universe, you have one week to rid the world of Donald Trump. Give us one well-placed lightning bolt and save us all.  (on Twitter, 1-13-17, at 1:42 p.m.) 
• Would someone please give Donald Trump a gentle push down a long flight of stairs? He's old, and that might be enough to do the trick.  (on Twitter, 1-14-17, at 12:42 a.m.) 
• Dear Girl Scouts Of America, when you march for Donald Trump, be sure to keep your pussies safe. He'll likely try to date at least a few of you before the weekend is over.  (on Facebook, 1-18-17, at 10:37 a.m.)

Photo From Work

I wonder what Rosetta's secret is. It also amuses me that her last name is Young.

Mail Theft: Update

At 2:25 p.m., I got back from the police station, where I spoke with an officer at the desk. He asked if I’d spoken with the postal inspector. I said I had. He started a file for me, and said he’d pass it on to the detectives and reminded me that it’s a federal offense. He was really helpful and kind, though not a Patriots fan.

Before I went there, I called the woman at the local post office again and spoke with her for several minutes, mentioning the conversation I had last night with my neighbor. She asked if I’d added that to the postal inspector’s case file. I hadn’t yet, but that was my next call. Anyway, she told me that all master keys have to be accounted for at the end of the day, so it’s not like an employee could access my box with one after hours. I asked about the possibility of one of them creating a copy, but she said they wouldn’t have time. They keep track of where the carriers are at all times. So maybe it was another thief after all, someone who found my missing card, which listed my name, address, and the exact dates I’d be gone, and picked my lock every night. That seems brazen and risky, with very little reward for the efforts, but it’s certainly possible. My lock didn’t seem damaged, but I haven’t looked at it closely yet; it opened when I used my key, though it did stick a bit when I tried to close the box. So maybe that’s it. I mentioned that to the woman at the post office, but she seemed to be under the impression that the card was lost there at the office and not somewhere along the route. So it could still be an employee who found the card and passed it on to a friend or something. It seems crazy, but clearly someone opened my box every day while I was gone.

Well, the police have my information, so perhaps they’ll be in contact with me.

It’s now 2:50 p.m. I spoke with another woman at the postal inspector’s office, giving her the updated information about my neighbor who was gone for part of the same time I was gone, but who had nothing stolen. To my mind, that completely eliminates the possibility of a random thief with a master key, for surely such a person would have taken that neighbor’s mail as well. So that information is now added to my case file. I hope the thief is caught soon, so I can focus on better things.

Mail Theft: Happy New Year

Whenever I visit my family on the east coast, I have my mail held at the post office. I tend to get a lot of mail, so for the past couple of years, when filling out the little form, I mark that I will pick up the accumulated mail when I get back, rather than having the postal carrier deal with it. On the form you write the date you want mail held, and the date you want service resumed. However, if you mark that you’ll pick up the mail yourself, then service won’t resume until you do. So that if a flight is delayed and you get stuck somewhere along the way, the service won’t resume until you’re back, even if it’s a day later than you’d expected.

I got back on January 5th, rather late due to a three-hour delay in Las Vegas, and the next morning went to the post office to collect my mail. I handed the woman my driver’s license, and after a few minutes she came back with only four pieces of mail. “There must be more,” I told her. “I was gone for nearly three weeks.”  She checked again, but saw nothing. “Seriously, there has to be more. Last time they wheeled out my accumulated mail in a cart. And I know there are certain things missing, like a paycheck.” She suggested that perhaps the carrier is delivering the accumulated mail today, even though I marked down that I would pick it up. I asked her to find out, because there are some things in my mail I needed to deal with right away. Well, the mail carrier was contacted, and the woman came back to tell me someone had picked up my mail.

“What? Who? How? No one should have picked up my mail. The card I filled out was explicit that only I could change the dates, and that I would have to do it in writing.”

She gave me the name and phone number of her supervisor, and told me to call her. She also told me to talk with my carrier. On my walk home from the post office, I called my apartment manager, because he’s the only other person with a key to my specific mail box. I thought that maybe if the mail carrier had mistakenly delivered my mail, and he saw that the box was full, he might have taken it upon himself to retrieve it. He didn’t.

When I got home, I checked my mailbox, and there was mail in there. I wasn’t sure if it was just one day’s worth of mail or two. But nothing should have been in there at all. I then called the supervisor at the post office, and explained the situation to her. She was already aware of it, and had spoken briefly to the carrier. She told me that he had been delivering my mail, and that was someone was picking it up. “But why was he delivering it? I had my mail held.” She said that was something she’d discuss with him when he returned. “When do you expect him back?” I asked, and she told me he was scheduled to return at 4 p.m., and that he’d probably be at my apartment building around 3.

He actually arrived around 2:30 p.m., and I went out to talk with him. What he told me was that my card with the dates I’d be gone was misplaced or lost or something – and that several other cards were likewise misplaced. Because he couldn’t remember the dates, he delivered my mail. And then, when my box was empty the next day, he assumed I was home, and kept delivering my mail. “But why did you start delivering at all? Why not wait until you were sure I was back?” He said he was sorry. I’m sure he is, but that’s not going to get my mail back. And clearly the person who took my mail knew I was gone. I figured it had to be someone who works at the post office. He or she took the card (and the others), and then checked those buildings. How that person would know that my mail carrier would resume delivery, however, I don’t know. Perhaps he or she just took a chance.

“But what about the mail that I did pick up today? There were four items held at the post office.”

“That was at the beginning,” he told me. So, what, he resumed my delivery after just one day? And then why wouldn’t he have brought those four items with him the next day? I’m glad he didn’t, of course, but it doesn’t make sense. I also asked about the mail that was in my mail box. I told him each of the items, and asked if that was just the previous day’s mail or two days’ worth. “That was all yesterday,” he said. “When I put that in there, the other mail was already gone.” I called my apartment manager and explained everything that I knew, and asked if anyone else had mail taken. No one else had.

There are two keys that access my mail box. One is the individual key that I have. The only other copy is with the building manager, a guy I trust. I haven’t made any other copies, and I’ve lived at this place for seventeen years, so it’s not like the previous tenant returned with a key. The previous tenant, in fact, is deceased. Also, I rarely valet park, and when I do, I hand the attendant only my car key, not my set of keys, so it’s not like someone could have made a copy from mine at any point. So I just can’t see any way that someone else would have a copy of my specific key. And even if someone did, how would that person know I was gone? I never announce my vacations. I don’t post anything on Facebook about it until after I’ve returned. In fact, I never post where I am at any given moment, because it seems like an invitation for trouble. The other key is the master key, which opens all of the mailboxes for the building. The supervisor at the post office told me that apparently some thief has a copy of this, because there has been trouble in other buildings in North Hollywood. “Wait, why weren’t the locks replaced when you realized someone else had a copy of that key?” I asked. She said the locked were supposed to be replaced last year.

I called that supervisor back after speaking with my mail carrier. The regular mail carrier works five days of the week, which means that there is one day when someone else fills in. So I asked her to speak with whoever filled in during the weeks I was gone, and ask if that person saw the “hold mail” form, and if he or she delivered my mail or what. She promised she’d bring it up at the meeting the next morning when everyone would be together. She also told me to file an official report with the postal inspector. So at 3:18 p.m. I called the postal inspector, and we discussed the case. She gave me a case number and said the investigation would begin at my local post office.

I’ve decided to also file an official report with the police. This is, after all, a federal offense, and when the person is caught, he or she should see some serious jail time.

It seems to me that it has to be someone who works at the post office. There were only three people in Los Angeles that knew when I’d be gone. One was my very good friend Ryan, who drove me to the airport and picked me up. The second is my neighbor, the tenant of the apartment next to mine, who promised to remove any fliers or junk from my door while I was gone (I’d done the same for her before). The third is the apartment manager. That’s it. All three of those people I trust. The only other ones who would know I was gone would be anyone at the post office who saw the hold mail form. The form which mysteriously was misplaced. It is interesting that the one day the thief didn’t pick up my mail was the day I returned. So the person had to know exactly what day I was due back. Sure, it could be a coincidence, but I don’t believe that. So I think that eliminates the possibility of the random thief who has a master key. That person would have taken everyone’s mail, not just mine. Plus, would such a thief return to the same building every day for nearly three weeks? That seems risky. And it’s too much of a coincidence that it would be exactly the time I was gone. Why not the week before I left? Why not the day I got back?

I went to the grocery store last night, and when I got back, another neighbor pulled into the spot next to mine. I asked her if she’d had any mail taken. She hadn’t. And, interestingly, she’d been gone for several days during the time I was gone. But she hadn’t filled out a form to have her mail held. Instead, she just let her box get filled. None of that was taken. A thief with a master key certainly would have taken her mail too. Because the master key opens all mail boxes simultaneously. Why would the person focus solely on my box? Because he or she knew I wouldn’t notice or report it for nearly three weeks. I wonder if it will prove worth it to the thief when he or she is caught.

I called my bank, of course, and there had been no suspicious activity. And no monthly statement had been sent to me during that time, so that information is safe (well, as safe as anything is these days, I suppose). I called and had a stop payment put on my paycheck, and a new one will be sent to me in a few days. Mostly what the thief got were CDs and DVDs that were sent to me to review. I hope he or she likes folk, blues and jazz. But what else was sent? I don’t know. I just wish my mail carrier hadn’t taken it upon himself to start delivering my mail. And I still can’t figure out why he did that.

Well, later today I’ll see what the police have to say about the matter.