Ella Pantoon

Ella Pantoon is one of Earth’s lesser known satellites. She circles the globe more slowly, since she travels at a distance of only nine feet from the Earth’s surface, and so is often banging into trees, houses, telephone poles, circus tents, giraffes, football stadiums. Very few astronomers care to study her, and these days even her husband and children pay her little attention, having discovered collectible card games.

But Ella stays on course, largely undeterred, undismayed, and underfed. Basketball players used to toss her sandwiches, but have since moved onto other, more high-profile, causes, and Ella must subsist on apples, bird eggs, squirrels and other things she can grab from trees as she passes by. Ella never complains, although, if asked, she’ll admit to not being all that fond of travel.