Friday, April 8, 2016

Bulgaria: Mohair Capital Of The World

I ordered a giant mohair sweater that was hand-knit by a woman who calls herself Super Tanya, based in Bulgaria. It turns out nearly every person who makes mohair sweaters lives in Bulgaria. Seriously. Check it out yourself. I wonder if they all know each other. I imagine there is a mohair sweater factory, and each of these women has her own cell in it, where she is forced to knit twenty hours a day. Maybe their talent is noticed at a young age, and they're snatched from their homes by factory men. Or perhaps they're simply bred at the factory. It's difficult to tell, and I will try to do some more research on it.

In the meantime, I am still waiting for the sweater's arrival. I ordered it on March 21st. At first my sweater moved swiftly, the initial message from the tracking site reading, "March 23, 2016 10:57 pm Processed Through Facility SOFIA LETTERS, BULGARIA." And then as quick as a wink it was here in the states, for on March 25th I was informed it was processed through the facility at "ISC NEW YORK NY(USPS)." But that's when things got screwy. I didn't receive a word about my sweater for quite a while. And for a day or so, the tracking number didn't even work, and I worried that my sweater had been lost. Then, suddenly, on April 4th, it was back on the radar, and moving once again. This time it was in Flushing, New York, at a USPS facility. So after ten days, it had simply moved from one part of New York City to another, reinforcing my belief that New York City is retarded. It arrived in Flushing at 2:37 p.m., and departed Flushing at 7:48 p.m. that same day (because no one wants to spend time in a place called Flushing). But since then there has been nothing but silence.What part of New York will my sweater visit next? At this rate, I figure I will be wearing the sweater sometime in early 2018, unless I simply move to New York. But of course that will not happen. I fucking hate New York.

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