Life

His life was like a song
But not a very good song
It went on and on
Long after people stopped listening

Photo From Work

See how many errors you can find on this sign (which was used as set dressing).

The End Of Ellen

     Ellen Ford dipped one toe into the Evertons’ Suicide Machine. She’d long been plagued by indecision. In fact, that is what indirectly drove her to this halfhearted near suicide attempt.

     But the machine was stronger-willed than Ellen. That one toe was all it needed to decide it wanted to end Ellen’s life. It sucked her in by that one toe.

     And that was the end of Ellen.

An Important Question

If the bionic man were bitten by a werewolf, his bionic limbs wouldn’t change, would they? So he’d be a wolf with two human-type legs and one human-type arm. I’d like to see that.

Present Conditions

Confusion passed him on the highway.

Melancholy diverted his attention from romance long enough that love was able to sneak away.

Apathy finished his breakfast.

Religious People Are Peculiar

Couldn't I take comfort in something that's happened a little more recently? I mean, if I have to look all the way back to baptism for comfort, well, that's not very comforting.

The Walking Dead

I’ve been watching a lot of The Walking Dead lately. I just got to the episode where Rick accidentally took down Walker, Texas Ranger, and Michonne killed Alice Walker. The series is definitely getting weird.

Star Wars, The Walking Dead

I've been watching a lot of The Walking Dead lately (for Christmas, I received seasons two, three, four and five - and I'm partway through the fourth season), and I was thinking about the new Star Wars movie in relation to that series. Because I think it would have been much better for Star Wars to just end, rather than have it ruined by Disney. And I wonder how George Lucas sees it. Wouldn't it be easier to let a child die than to have it turned into a mindless, pointless, eternal, flesh-eating zombie? Basically what I'm saying is Disney bit Star Wars, and now George Lucas needs to come back and shoot his baby in the head. (And take out Disney while you're at it, please.)

Ectospasm

Betty Flavor, the intern with the happy syringe, made her way out of the third story window and quickly to the ground, where she suffered several broken bones and a punctured lung. Louise, a nearby dog, was not impressed, and continued to lick itself with a detached enthusiasm it had learned from watching a lot of television. Rachel, a certified lunatic, screamed.

Late-Night Philosophizing

Waving my arms around, screaming, “I am an octopus!” Reality is a luxury I cannot afford. And fuck, I have better things to spend my money on. After all, I am an octopus.

Lunchtime Confession Of A High School Geek

     I caught the eye of the cute blonde, and tossed it back to her. She missed it, due to my poor throw. It landed on the floor, where it was almost immediately crushed by a food cart. And now there is very little chance of me taking her to the prom.

Zachary’s Quest

Zachary studies both geometry and augury in his quest for a formula to predict the shape of things to come.

Photos From Work

Getting up at 3:45 this morning was rough, but the beautiful sunrise made it worth it. Here are a couple of photos from crew parking.

Religious People Are Peculiar

That is so true. Also, top is not topless. Breath is not breathless. And shoe is not Shoeless Joe Jackson. Amen.

Where I Hang My Hat

     She had compassion and empathy for everyone. She even decided to donate her corpse to the local necrophiliacs group. But she was so old when she finally died that the necrophiliacs passed. And that’s how she came into my possession.

     And that’s where I hang my hat.

Confession 413

I get turned on by watching people undress salads.

Welcome To Yesterday Part Two: Today

undress the bamboo goddess

remove the restraints

wipe off the lipstick

Her Hair

My girlfriend has the most beautiful hair. And she’s always doing something special with it to delight and entice me. Each time she makes a change, I am excited to see her newest look. Two days ago she dyed her hair infrared and I had to wear special glasses to see it. What a surprise! It was a shock, honestly, when I first came home and thought she had shaved her head. I admit, I didn’t react too well to that. But the bruising should go down in a day or two. What will she try next?

Religious People Are Peculiar

How can I argue with this one?