Here is today's tip to keep you from sounding like a moron: A word that many people should simply avoid using is "literally." Often when I hear people say it, they actually mean "figuratively," which is basically the opposite. And the emphasis they put on the word makes them sound even dumber. I once heard someone say, "I literally died," with great emphasis on "literally." My urge, of course, was to cut the person's head off because she was admitting to being a zombie, and those creatures never mean us any good.
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