Tips To Keep You From Sounding Stupid

Here is today's tip to keep you from sounding like a moron: Learn how to pronounce "especially." This is a weird one, because it seems that people are misspelling it, for I often hear "eck-specially" and sometimes "ex-specially." I'm curious how these folks write the word. If you spell it correctly, you should pronounce it correctly. And while we're on the subject, for the love of all you hold dear, the word is "ask," not "aks." When someone says "aks," it sounds like "axe," and when I hear "Let me axe you something," I have a strong desire to take an axe to the person's head. I have refrained from doing so thus far, largely because I do not own an axe, but I cannot promise to hold back forever.

Tips To Keep You From Sounding Stupid

Here is today's tip to keep you from sounding like a moron: Learn the difference between "healthy" and "healthful." The word "healthy" means "having health" while "healthful" means "serving to promote health." When talking about a meal or diet, for example, you should use "healthful." A healthy meal would be one that is still alive, and while that would certainly make dinner time more interesting, it is probably not what you mean.

Tips To Keep You From Sounding Stupid

Here is today's tip to keep you from sounding like a moron: The word "quality" by itself doesn't mean anything in terms of describing the worth of something. Saying "quality workmanship" or "quality merchandise" tells us nothing whatsoever. It could be high-quality, it could be low-quality. Who knows? Think of "quality" the way you think of "degree." If someone said, "degree workmanship," you'd immediately understand how meaningless the statement was. I used to think the use of the word "quality" like that was deliberately deceptive, a way for companies to avoid telling the truth without lying. Now I just think people are idiots.

Tips To Keep You From Sounding Stupid

Here is today's tip to keep you from sounding like a moron: "Snuck" is not a word. "Sneaked" is the correct past tense form of "sneak."

Remember, a common mistake is still a mistake.

Tips To Keep You From Sounding Stupid

Here is today's tip to keep you from sounding like a moron: The correct phrase is "can hardly wait," not "can't hardly wait." "Can't hardly" is a double negative. 

Tips To Keep You From Sounding Stupid

Here is today's tip to keep you from sounding like a moron: The phrase is "couldn't care less," not "could care less." Saying "I could care less" means you do care, at least a little bit. 

Tips To Keep You From Sounding Stupid

Here is today's tip to keep you from sounding like a moron: "Irregardless" is not a word. I think this abomination comes from people aiming to say "regardless" or "irrespective" and somehow garbling the two. Whatever the cause, "irregardless" is not a word and should never be uttered by anyone who wants to be considered even moderately intelligent.