Alternative Fact: November 8, 2018

Today's alternative fact (to help you get through the day): Donald Trump fan Sarah Schmidt, after escaping from an insane asylum, paid a plastic surgeon to make her resemble Ivanka Trump. Recovering from the multiple surgeries, and safely back at the asylum, Sarah told her family on visiting day, "I wanted to look like Ivanka because I am in love with Donald Trump, and I know it's the most surefire way to get him to sleep with me." When asked for comment, Donald Trump told reporters: "Sarah Schmidt is looking good, but she should have made herself look like Ivanka at age twelve. Then, crazy or not, she would have been irresistible."